Top Ten Ugliest Chicago Moves

10. Adam Archuleta open field tackle

The ultimate matchup: Arch v. Ced Benson in the open field. The world may implode.

9. Kerry Wood delivering the slurve

When it was good, Kerry Wood could strikeout 20 guys with his slider-curveball combo. Unfortunately, the pitch made Wood's shoulder softer than Martin Havlat.

8. Juan Uribe swinging out of his shoes at a chin high fastball

No wonder Uribe can’t OBP anything better than .280. Pitchers can get him out without throwing a single pitch in the strike zone.

7. Keith Traylor wind sprint

Traylor’s 67-yard interception return against the Jaguars in 2001 may go down as the single funniest moment in Chicago sports history.

6. Kirk Hinrich trying to defend someone

2006-07 Second team All Defense? Ha, good one NBA. We all know there are lots (white) of (white) reasons (white) for (white) that (he's white!). Ron Santo has better lateral quickness.

4. Bob Probert trying to drive home after a night at the pub

Probie just edges out ‘Theo Fleury attending your local strip club’, because, you know, we love him.

4. Tyson Chandler free throw attempt

To prove how bad Chandler is at free throws, he edged out Dennis Rodman, Ben Wallace, and Joakim Noah to ‘earn’ this spot. Apparently catching alley-oops from Chris Paul is a little easier than hitting an uncontested 15-footer.

3. Scotty Pods throw home from deep left field

It was once said that Johnny Damon looks like Jesus and throws like Mary. If this is true, then Scotty Pods must throw like Mark Giangreco. (I heard Howard Sudberry has a cannon though)

2. Rex Grossman heave deep off his back foot

While it may be physically impossible to overthrow The Great Devin Hester, Marty Booker better get those huge hands ready for some signature Rex air mails next season.

1. Ben Wallace fadeaway

As a friend of mine once said, Wallace hitting one his patented fades, which he would attempt roughly three times per game, is like a 10-year old making a half court shot.