Monday, June 8, 2009
Friday, June 5, 2009
Top Ten goofiest looking Chicago athletes
BY MIKE JACOBSEN
Over a period of just a few, short months, Chicago sports fans have been subjected to an endless amount of buzz and excitement surrounding our beloved franchises. The Bulls and Hawks both made strides in the playoffs, the Bears finally have (gasp) a quarterback, and the Cubs and Sox are still in the hunt.
As I have absorbed the sports media coverage of the past 60 days or so, I realized something...there are some ugly dudes playing pro sports in this town!
In turn, I have compiled a list of the top ten goofiest looking characters that are currently playing professional sports in Chicago.
I truly respect Olsen as a football player and think that he can and will be a valuable asset to the Chicago Bears organization for many years to come (especially when he learns to block).
Yet, this doesn’t hide the fact that the former member of the U’s very own “7th Floor Crew” looks like a caveman. With his distinctive low brow ridge and overall Homo erectus like features, I don’t know if I should be cheering for him, or if I should be trying to have him save me a bunch of money on my car insurance.
No “goofiest looking list” would ever be complete without installing at least one ginger into the mix….enter Brian Campbell.
I don’t believe that I am alone in saying that Campbell had a pretty uneventful season and thus far, hasn’t really lived up to his eight year, $56.8 million contract.
Due to their recent success, I have to give the Chicago Fire some much needed love. They are currently 5-1-6 and sit atop the Eastern Conference of the MLS with 21 points.
As I was watching the Fire snatch a victory from Chivas U.S.A. this past Thursday, I noticed Patrick Nyarko, a native of Ghana, on the field and instantly knew he'd be a great addition to this list.
In my humble opinion, Steltz appears to be an odd combination of Jeff Spicoli from Fast Times at Ridgemont High and Kurt Cobain of Nirvana.
It’s not too often that one sees grimy, rather lengthy hair like this on an NFL player. But Steltz apparently feels that the Seattle grunge look works for him.
I’m thinking he should reconsider.
Despite a solid college career at Georgia Southern University, Adrian Peterson’s skills as a starting tailback never really translated to the NFL. Fortunately, Peterson has been a pivotal part of our special teams for several years.
His ability to both block and tackle is what makes him an excellent resource for Dave Toub and the rest of the Bears coaching staff.
I love Adrian, but how can you not look at him and think Whoopi Goldberg?
Someone needs to inform Jenks that the “grab ass era” that was once established by Nick Swisher and Toby Hall is long gone.
It’s time for him to quit dying that ridiculous goatee of his and grow up. I am aware of the fact that you look like an adult version of Eric Cartman from South Park, but take a razor to that thing already Bobby!
The first word that comes to mind when I see a picture of Alexei Ramirez is antelope.
Yes, I said it….antelope.
I am not sure exactly why, but it’s probably because of Ramirez’s slender frame and caved in face. Seriously, will somebody feed this man a cheeseburger?
Alexei needs to go on the “Bartolo Colon Diet,” and maybe then he will be able to put some meat on those bones.
After turning down the role of Spock in the recently released Star Trek prequel, Kirk admitted that he was still holding out for the starring role in the Keebler Elf biopic.
All jokes aside, I am an advocate of Kirk Hinrich being a part of the Bulls plans heading into the upcoming 2009-10 season. I don’t want to delve into this topic too much (because I could write three pages about this), but his versatility and leadership are something that will be missed once it’s gone.
Carlos, Carlos, Carlos……. for whatever reason, MOST Cubs fans still love you to death (except for when you play in the WBC) and continue to put their faith in you.
But let’s face it my man, you aren’t going to be walking down a runway anytime soon.
I don’t know if it’s the Obama ears or what, but more often than not, you seem to leave me with a feeling of uneasiness when you approach the mound these days. Get your control back and throw the ball over the plate, son!
This is a big surprise, huh?
Yes, I have anointed Joakim Noah (a.k.a. “Sideshow Bob”) the goofiest looking character in Chicago sports, but I think that many Bulls fans would concur that he earned our respect during the Celtics playoff series.
And afterward he could hold his head high knowing that with Brian Scalabrine (a.k.a. Jackie Moon) on the court, he'd look like David Beckham in comparison.
Over a period of just a few, short months, Chicago sports fans have been subjected to an endless amount of buzz and excitement surrounding our beloved franchises. The Bulls and Hawks both made strides in the playoffs, the Bears finally have (gasp) a quarterback, and the Cubs and Sox are still in the hunt.
As I have absorbed the sports media coverage of the past 60 days or so, I realized something...there are some ugly dudes playing pro sports in this town!
In turn, I have compiled a list of the top ten goofiest looking characters that are currently playing professional sports in Chicago.
10. Greg Olsen
I truly respect Olsen as a football player and think that he can and will be a valuable asset to the Chicago Bears organization for many years to come (especially when he learns to block).
Yet, this doesn’t hide the fact that the former member of the U’s very own “7th Floor Crew” looks like a caveman. With his distinctive low brow ridge and overall Homo erectus like features, I don’t know if I should be cheering for him, or if I should be trying to have him save me a bunch of money on my car insurance.
9. Brian Campbell
No “goofiest looking list” would ever be complete without installing at least one ginger into the mix….enter Brian Campbell.
I don’t believe that I am alone in saying that Campbell had a pretty uneventful season and thus far, hasn’t really lived up to his eight year, $56.8 million contract.
8. Patrick Nyarko
Due to their recent success, I have to give the Chicago Fire some much needed love. They are currently 5-1-6 and sit atop the Eastern Conference of the MLS with 21 points.
As I was watching the Fire snatch a victory from Chivas U.S.A. this past Thursday, I noticed Patrick Nyarko, a native of Ghana, on the field and instantly knew he'd be a great addition to this list.
7. Craig Steltz
In my humble opinion, Steltz appears to be an odd combination of Jeff Spicoli from Fast Times at Ridgemont High and Kurt Cobain of Nirvana.
It’s not too often that one sees grimy, rather lengthy hair like this on an NFL player. But Steltz apparently feels that the Seattle grunge look works for him.
I’m thinking he should reconsider.
6. Adrian Peterson
Despite a solid college career at Georgia Southern University, Adrian Peterson’s skills as a starting tailback never really translated to the NFL. Fortunately, Peterson has been a pivotal part of our special teams for several years.
His ability to both block and tackle is what makes him an excellent resource for Dave Toub and the rest of the Bears coaching staff.
I love Adrian, but how can you not look at him and think Whoopi Goldberg?
5. Bobby Jenks
Someone needs to inform Jenks that the “grab ass era” that was once established by Nick Swisher and Toby Hall is long gone.
It’s time for him to quit dying that ridiculous goatee of his and grow up. I am aware of the fact that you look like an adult version of Eric Cartman from South Park, but take a razor to that thing already Bobby!
4. Alexei Ramirez
The first word that comes to mind when I see a picture of Alexei Ramirez is antelope.
Yes, I said it….antelope.
I am not sure exactly why, but it’s probably because of Ramirez’s slender frame and caved in face. Seriously, will somebody feed this man a cheeseburger?
Alexei needs to go on the “Bartolo Colon Diet,” and maybe then he will be able to put some meat on those bones.
3. Kirk Hinrich
After turning down the role of Spock in the recently released Star Trek prequel, Kirk admitted that he was still holding out for the starring role in the Keebler Elf biopic.
All jokes aside, I am an advocate of Kirk Hinrich being a part of the Bulls plans heading into the upcoming 2009-10 season. I don’t want to delve into this topic too much (because I could write three pages about this), but his versatility and leadership are something that will be missed once it’s gone.
2. Carlos Marmol
Carlos, Carlos, Carlos……. for whatever reason, MOST Cubs fans still love you to death (except for when you play in the WBC) and continue to put their faith in you.
But let’s face it my man, you aren’t going to be walking down a runway anytime soon.
I don’t know if it’s the Obama ears or what, but more often than not, you seem to leave me with a feeling of uneasiness when you approach the mound these days. Get your control back and throw the ball over the plate, son!
1. Joakim Noah
Yes, I have anointed Joakim Noah (a.k.a. “Sideshow Bob”) the goofiest looking character in Chicago sports, but I think that many Bulls fans would concur that he earned our respect during the Celtics playoff series.
And afterward he could hold his head high knowing that with Brian Scalabrine (a.k.a. Jackie Moon) on the court, he'd look like David Beckham in comparison.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Top Ten Chicago sports scandals
The city of Chicago has been featured prominently in the sports media world as of late thanks to NCAA infractions purportedly committed by Derrick Rose.
It's not the first time the city has been home to one of sport's most salacious scandals. No surprise when you take into account the long histories of its franchises.
So without further ado, here are the Top Ten Chicago sports scandals.
Have inflatable dolls ever created this big of a controversy?
The Sox were in the midst of a miserable road trip, playing up in Toronto, when the team needed a slump buster.
The solution? A pair of rubber dolls surrounded by strategically placed bats with a sigm that read 'You've Got to Push' hanging around one of their necks.
Think Ozzie Guillen had anything to do with that?
Former Bears defensive lineman Tank Johnson was arrested by federal agents in 2006 after they searched his home and found a weapons cache that would make Rambo blush and marijuana. And that's just a taste of this guys laundry list of offenses during his stay in the Chi.
Before Belle brought his muscle bound persona to the South Side, he was involved in what has to be considered one of the strangest tales in league history.
During a game against the Sox in 1994, then skipper Gene LaMont requested the umpires check Belle's bat for signs of tampering. Nothing was found, but the bat was confiscated and was to be sent to league offices for further investigation.
Belle's teammate Jason Grimsley decided to hoist himself up into an overhead crawlspace in the visitor locker room, shimmy through a narrow passage and lower himself into the adjacent umpire's locker room. There he switched Belle's bat with one of teammate Paul Sorrento's bats, only to have the umpires notice the change.
In his 2002 book, former Indians shortstop Omar Vizquel noted that they had to use Sorrento's bat because 'all of Albert's bats were corked'.
This one is going back a ways and has probably slipped from the memories of those old enough to remember it.
But on New Years Eve in 1964, an assortment of Chicago Bears players gathered at a bowling alley owned by the one and only, Mike Ditka. At some point in the night, a fight ensued between Bears players and patrons of the alley, resulting in the death of former Redskin Tony Parilli.
This yarn combines the two attributes Chicago is notorious for: the Cubs and shady politics.
Blago's exploits have also been well documented and the feds are still trying to sort through the details. But according to the federal complaint, in a tapped phone conversation, Blago said that in order for the Cubs to secure IFA financing for the sale of Wrigley Field, they needed to "fire all those (expletive) people, get 'em the (expletive) out of there, and get us some editorial support."
For years getting a ticket to Wrigley has progressively become more and more of an arduous challenge. And when you find out that the Cubs were running a shady ticket scheme, it should be no surprise the fans went absolutely balistic.
The Cubs had ownership in Wrigley Field Premium Tickets; an outfit provided with face-value Cubs tickets that they in turn, sold for a higher price to the fans.
Only in Chicago.
The night before a playoff game against the New York Knicks in 1993, Jordan created a media firestorm by being spotted at an Atlantic City casino. That alone wouldn't have been so bad until you combined it with the fact Jordan admitted to dropping $57,000 on gambling debts earlier that same season.
The curious case of Sammy Sosa and the source of his power at the plate came more into focus on a June day in 2002 when he was caught using a corked bat against the Rays.
He claimed to only have the bat in his possession for batting practice to give the fans a show but nobody bought it.
This is so fresh in the minds of Chicago sports fans that I won't rehash the stories of alleged cheating on the SAT or grade fixing.
But the truth is, regardless of what else comes from this scandal, the perception of Rose won't change much. He's a professional athelte now and a hired gun when he was in Memphis. This entire situation is more indicative of the serious issues surrounding NCAA basketball that nobody wants to acknowledge exist.
Might not be that way for much longer.
The Black Sox are perhaps the most notorious team in the history of baseball for all the wrong reasons. Shoeless Joe Jackson and the rest of the pale hose cohorts fixed the 1919 World Series against the Cincinnati Reds.
They're responsible for the biggest black eye this city has ever had to endure and will remain the first reference anyone makes when the topic of gambling in sports arises.
It's not the first time the city has been home to one of sport's most salacious scandals. No surprise when you take into account the long histories of its franchises.
So without further ado, here are the Top Ten Chicago sports scandals.
10. The Blowup Dolls
Have inflatable dolls ever created this big of a controversy?
The Sox were in the midst of a miserable road trip, playing up in Toronto, when the team needed a slump buster.
The solution? A pair of rubber dolls surrounded by strategically placed bats with a sigm that read 'You've Got to Push' hanging around one of their necks.
Think Ozzie Guillen had anything to do with that?
9. The Tank
Former Bears defensive lineman Tank Johnson was arrested by federal agents in 2006 after they searched his home and found a weapons cache that would make Rambo blush and marijuana. And that's just a taste of this guys laundry list of offenses during his stay in the Chi.
8. Albert Belle’s Disappearing Bat
Before Belle brought his muscle bound persona to the South Side, he was involved in what has to be considered one of the strangest tales in league history.
During a game against the Sox in 1994, then skipper Gene LaMont requested the umpires check Belle's bat for signs of tampering. Nothing was found, but the bat was confiscated and was to be sent to league offices for further investigation.
Belle's teammate Jason Grimsley decided to hoist himself up into an overhead crawlspace in the visitor locker room, shimmy through a narrow passage and lower himself into the adjacent umpire's locker room. There he switched Belle's bat with one of teammate Paul Sorrento's bats, only to have the umpires notice the change.
In his 2002 book, former Indians shortstop Omar Vizquel noted that they had to use Sorrento's bat because 'all of Albert's bats were corked'.
7. Tragedy at Ditka's
This one is going back a ways and has probably slipped from the memories of those old enough to remember it.
But on New Years Eve in 1964, an assortment of Chicago Bears players gathered at a bowling alley owned by the one and only, Mike Ditka. At some point in the night, a fight ensued between Bears players and patrons of the alley, resulting in the death of former Redskin Tony Parilli.
6. Blago's Bargaining Chip
This yarn combines the two attributes Chicago is notorious for: the Cubs and shady politics.
Blago's exploits have also been well documented and the feds are still trying to sort through the details. But according to the federal complaint, in a tapped phone conversation, Blago said that in order for the Cubs to secure IFA financing for the sale of Wrigley Field, they needed to "fire all those (expletive) people, get 'em the (expletive) out of there, and get us some editorial support."
5. Cubs = Ticket Scalpers
For years getting a ticket to Wrigley has progressively become more and more of an arduous challenge. And when you find out that the Cubs were running a shady ticket scheme, it should be no surprise the fans went absolutely balistic.
The Cubs had ownership in Wrigley Field Premium Tickets; an outfit provided with face-value Cubs tickets that they in turn, sold for a higher price to the fans.
Only in Chicago.
4. M. Jeff's Night Out in Atlantic City
The night before a playoff game against the New York Knicks in 1993, Jordan created a media firestorm by being spotted at an Atlantic City casino. That alone wouldn't have been so bad until you combined it with the fact Jordan admitted to dropping $57,000 on gambling debts earlier that same season.
3. Sammy’s Corked Bat
The curious case of Sammy Sosa and the source of his power at the plate came more into focus on a June day in 2002 when he was caught using a corked bat against the Rays.
He claimed to only have the bat in his possession for batting practice to give the fans a show but nobody bought it.
2. Derrick Rose
This is so fresh in the minds of Chicago sports fans that I won't rehash the stories of alleged cheating on the SAT or grade fixing.
But the truth is, regardless of what else comes from this scandal, the perception of Rose won't change much. He's a professional athelte now and a hired gun when he was in Memphis. This entire situation is more indicative of the serious issues surrounding NCAA basketball that nobody wants to acknowledge exist.
Might not be that way for much longer.
1. Black Sox
The Black Sox are perhaps the most notorious team in the history of baseball for all the wrong reasons. Shoeless Joe Jackson and the rest of the pale hose cohorts fixed the 1919 World Series against the Cincinnati Reds.
They're responsible for the biggest black eye this city has ever had to endure and will remain the first reference anyone makes when the topic of gambling in sports arises.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Top Ten Chicago sports figures we'd like to see on Man vs. Wild
If you didn't get a chance to see it, Will Ferrel appeared on Man vs. Wild last night on the Discovery Channel. He was put to the test in the elements along side Mother Nature's usual whipping boy, show host Bear Grylls.
An epic adventure for sure.
So it got us to thinking, what Chicago athletes would we like to see on the show? Here are the Top Ten we came up with...
Cruel?
Yes. But oh, so worth it.
As much as I’d like to see this happen, I just don’t think Kevin Garnett would ever come back.
You’d probably find him a year later living amongst a pack of wolves, making some young pup cry using his patented death stare for not boxing out.
With that scraggly playoff beard he was sporting by the time reached the Hawks reached the Eastern Conference finals, Kane sure looked the part of someone stranded on a deserted island.
But then again, he also looked like he just walked off the stage at his high school graduation.
Chicago's former golden boy wouldn't last a second in the wild. Unfortunately for him, Mother Nature doesn't have an injured reserve.
I'm not sure if anyone from Chicago is more suited to be featured on this show than Mark Buehrle. He's just backwoods enough that I think he'd actually enjoy it and you know he'd wouldn't slow up Bear at all.
His quick smells like burnt toast.
I can see the previews now:
This is Joakim Noah, and we doing it big, all day, all night out in Siberia this Tuesday on Man vs. Wild.
Our boy D-Hest, aka The Windy City Flyer, would be even more lost than little old Virginia out in the elements.
Thank goodness he's fast, or, at least he used to be. Paul Konerko, on the other hand, would be straight meat for anything faster than a snapping turtle.
It would be interesting to see who Bradley would blame when the only person around him would be himself.
No reporters to bash, no umpires to criticize and nobody else to point a finger at.
What would he do then?
'What can I say? We'll eat some bugs in the morning, and then we'll see.'
Classic Lou. It'd be a peek into what Lou looks like on holiday in the offseason. I'm picturing a limitless supply of Tommy Bahama shirts and some dark sunglasses so he can check out the 'scenery'.
Envisioning Da Coach roaming around the middle of nowhere out in Africa has to put a smile on your face.
While I’m not sure if he’d don the vintage 80’s Bears sweater vest, I know his stache alone could keep a horde of tribesmen warm for months at a time.
An epic adventure for sure.
So it got us to thinking, what Chicago athletes would we like to see on the show? Here are the Top Ten we came up with...
10. Virginia McCaskey
Cruel?
Yes. But oh, so worth it.
9. Kevin Garnett
As much as I’d like to see this happen, I just don’t think Kevin Garnett would ever come back.
You’d probably find him a year later living amongst a pack of wolves, making some young pup cry using his patented death stare for not boxing out.
8. Patrick Kane
With that scraggly playoff beard he was sporting by the time reached the Hawks reached the Eastern Conference finals, Kane sure looked the part of someone stranded on a deserted island.
But then again, he also looked like he just walked off the stage at his high school graduation.
7. Mark Prior
Chicago's former golden boy wouldn't last a second in the wild. Unfortunately for him, Mother Nature doesn't have an injured reserve.
6. Mark Buehrle
I'm not sure if anyone from Chicago is more suited to be featured on this show than Mark Buehrle. He's just backwoods enough that I think he'd actually enjoy it and you know he'd wouldn't slow up Bear at all.
His quick smells like burnt toast.
5. Joakim Noah
I can see the previews now:
This is Joakim Noah, and we doing it big, all day, all night out in Siberia this Tuesday on Man vs. Wild.
4. Devin Hester
Our boy D-Hest, aka The Windy City Flyer, would be even more lost than little old Virginia out in the elements.
Thank goodness he's fast, or, at least he used to be. Paul Konerko, on the other hand, would be straight meat for anything faster than a snapping turtle.
3. Milton Bradley
It would be interesting to see who Bradley would blame when the only person around him would be himself.
No reporters to bash, no umpires to criticize and nobody else to point a finger at.
What would he do then?
2. Lou Piniella
'What can I say? We'll eat some bugs in the morning, and then we'll see.'
Classic Lou. It'd be a peek into what Lou looks like on holiday in the offseason. I'm picturing a limitless supply of Tommy Bahama shirts and some dark sunglasses so he can check out the 'scenery'.
1. Mike Ditka
Envisioning Da Coach roaming around the middle of nowhere out in Africa has to put a smile on your face.
While I’m not sure if he’d don the vintage 80’s Bears sweater vest, I know his stache alone could keep a horde of tribesmen warm for months at a time.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Top Ten Most Disappointing Chicago Rookie of the Years
BY JIMMY GREENFIELD
Only 27 athletes have won the Rookie of the Year honors in a Cubs, White Sox, Bears, Bulls or Blackhawks uniform, and actually that's not true. I'm factoring in the immortal Terry Dischinger, who was the 1962-63 ROY for the NBA's Chicago Zephyrs.
The 1973 AP Defensive Rookie of the Year had some good years after winning the award, just not enough. He was off to Tampa Bay by 1978 and out of football a year later.
Honestly, I don't have the energy to relive this. Wood was great in 1998, then he was never close to being great again, though he was sometimes very good. And now he's gone.
What happened? Walton won the 1989 NL ROY and hit .364 in the NL playoffs but then saw his steals drop from 24 to 14 to 7 to 1. His average dropped from .293 to .263 to .219 to a mind-blowing .127 in 1992, his last year with the Cubs.
Only 27 athletes have won the Rookie of the Year honors in a Cubs, White Sox, Bears, Bulls or Blackhawks uniform, and actually that's not true. I'm factoring in the immortal Terry Dischinger, who was the 1962-63 ROY for the NBA's Chicago Zephyrs.
But over the last 12 months, three players -- Patrick Kane, Geovany Soto and Derrick Rose -- won the award. That's unprecedented in these parts, but if form holds at least one of them will be a bust. And I think Cubs fans fear who it's going to be.
Don't forget to check out our new home over at ChicagoNow.
10. Ken Hubbs
Beyond Ken Hubbs, the rest of this list consists of players who had disappointing careers by virtue of how their careers in Chicago played out. With Hubbs, who died in a 1964 plane crash after his sophomore season, it's disappointment over what he and all of baseball missed out on.
9. Geovany Soto
Too soon? Not if you're a Cubs fan and you're wondering if we've got another Rick Wilkins on our hands. One homer and a .216 average in June after a season hitting .285 with 23 homers and 86 RBIs is plenty to be nervous about.
8. Tommie Agee
Had a very nice career after hitting 22 homers and 86 RBIs for the White Sox in 1966...yet none of it with the White Sox. His numbers dropped from .273, 22 homers and 86 RBIs to .234, 14 and 52 his second year, after which he was traded to the Mets. Two years later, he hit 26 homers for the Amazin' Mets.
7. Anthony Thomas
Nice enough player who won the award in what must have been a very down year in the NFL.
Thomas gained 1,183 yards on 278 carries and scored seven touchdowns, which all proved to be career-highs. He last played in the NFL in 2007 with Buffalo.6. Wally Chambers
The 1973 AP Defensive Rookie of the Year had some good years after winning the award, just not enough. He was off to Tampa Bay by 1978 and out of football a year later.
5. Dwight Smith
Yes, I know Smith wasn't the 1989 NL Rookie of the Year. But I couldn't find ten legitimate disappointments and Smith should have been ROY ahead of Jerome Walton. Smith hit for a better average, had more homers, RBIs, fewer strikeouts and more WALKS than Walton (more on him later).
But after that stellar rookie year he never became a starter in the Major Leagues, and despite rebounding to hit. 300 in 1993, he was nothing more than a bit player on some crappy Cubs teams.4. Kerry Wood
Honestly, I don't have the energy to relive this. Wood was great in 1998, then he was never close to being great again, though he was sometimes very good. And now he's gone.
3. Mark Carrier
He went to the Pro Bowl two years in a row after winning the 1990 Defensive ROY award but that was a classic case of getting by on reputation. He led the NFL with 10 interceptions in 1990 but over the next six seasons he totaled 10 picks despite missing only a handful of games and he never came close to the 122 tackles his rookie year.
You say teams wouldn't throw his way? Bull. Great players find a way to make great plays and Carrier, though he was a leader on the field, never lived up to his great rookie year.2. Ron Kittle
Sure, Kittle hit 32 homers in his second year but he never came close to the 100 RBIs he hit during his 1983 rookie year, plus his average dropped to .215, .230 and .218 in the three years following it.
Kittle's bummer of a career is even sadder when you consider what a legend he could have become with his blue-collar background and winning personality.1. Jerome Walton
What happened? Walton won the 1989 NL ROY and hit .364 in the NL playoffs but then saw his steals drop from 24 to 14 to 7 to 1. His average dropped from .293 to .263 to .219 to a mind-blowing .127 in 1992, his last year with the Cubs.
So what happened? The Cubs happened.
Monday, June 1, 2009
Top Ten Michael Jordan low-lights
On the rare occasion someone actually reaches the kind of iconic status Michael Jordan has, it's not unusual to see their lesser moments of the past slowly fade away.
But every once in awhile, it's not a bad thing to take a trip down memory lane and that's what we're doing here today. Please understand that I worship at the altar of M. Jeff and this list isn't intended to try and tarnish the legacy he created.
So with that out of the way, here are the Top Ten Michael Jordan low-lights.
Jordan left the game with compound fractures in both ankles thanks to a fresh faced Iverson straight out of Georgetown.
M. Jeff was one of the league's best defenders, but even he couldn't slow down the Answer.
Morrison was a scoring machine for Gonzaga and seemed to be destined for great things in the Association. He's never fulfilled that prophecy and has spent more time in the trainer's room than the court.
The man who made a name for himself with high flying, tongue wagging dunks couldn't throw one down on a breakaway at the 2002 All Star game. This was during the comeback years, making it a little more understandable.
But I think we all knew that it was over after this.
Jordan nearly severed his finger shortly after the Bulls took home the 1998 title. Some feel that this was the final straw before he retired from the game for a second time.
It's no secret anymore that Jordan loved to gamble.
Every one in awhile someone will bring up that rumor that goes something like, Jordan didn't actually retire from basketball in 1993, he was actually suspended for gambling.
There's no evidence to support that claim, but I wouldn't be so shocked if it was true.
Come on Mike.
Steve Kerr?
But you've got to give Kerr credit for not backing down because Mike was yoked at the time.
The city of Chicago stunned when they heard Mike was coming back to the NBA, but in Wizards uniform. All eyes were upon the Wizards with Mike in the lineup, but it was easy to see fairly early on that he wasn't the same.
I usually tend to try and forget those years.
You just won your third consecutive title. You were the greatest player and the most famous person on the planet.
Why leave?
This thing had disaster written all over it from the word go.
Jordan just wasn't meant to be a baseball player and everyone knew it. But the people came out in droves to watch him play and it's not everyday you get to see the man, the myth, the legend whiffing on a high heater.
Lesson learned: don't quit your day job.
Let's just put it out there and get it over with: Michael Jordan isn't cut out to be a general manager in the NBA.
At this point, you could make a very strong argument that Kwame Brown is the biggest bust ever to be selected first overall in the NBA Draft.
Jordan couldn't resist the tremendous upside potential of the high school star and paid dearly for it. Brown has jumped from team to team and Jordan will always have this one hanging over his head.
But every once in awhile, it's not a bad thing to take a trip down memory lane and that's what we're doing here today. Please understand that I worship at the altar of M. Jeff and this list isn't intended to try and tarnish the legacy he created.
So with that out of the way, here are the Top Ten Michael Jordan low-lights.
10. Cross by Allen Iverson
Jordan left the game with compound fractures in both ankles thanks to a fresh faced Iverson straight out of Georgetown.
M. Jeff was one of the league's best defenders, but even he couldn't slow down the Answer.
9. Drafting Adam Morrison
Morrison was a scoring machine for Gonzaga and seemed to be destined for great things in the Association. He's never fulfilled that prophecy and has spent more time in the trainer's room than the court.
8. Missed Dunk at the 2002 All Star Game
The man who made a name for himself with high flying, tongue wagging dunks couldn't throw one down on a breakaway at the 2002 All Star game. This was during the comeback years, making it a little more understandable.
But I think we all knew that it was over after this.
7. The Cigar Cutter
Jordan nearly severed his finger shortly after the Bulls took home the 1998 title. Some feel that this was the final straw before he retired from the game for a second time.
6. Gambling Accusations
It's no secret anymore that Jordan loved to gamble.
Every one in awhile someone will bring up that rumor that goes something like, Jordan didn't actually retire from basketball in 1993, he was actually suspended for gambling.
There's no evidence to support that claim, but I wouldn't be so shocked if it was true.
5. Knocking Out Steve Kerr
Come on Mike.
Steve Kerr?
But you've got to give Kerr credit for not backing down because Mike was yoked at the time.
4. The Comeback Part Deux
The city of Chicago stunned when they heard Mike was coming back to the NBA, but in Wizards uniform. All eyes were upon the Wizards with Mike in the lineup, but it was easy to see fairly early on that he wasn't the same.
I usually tend to try and forget those years.
3. Retiring from the NBA
You just won your third consecutive title. You were the greatest player and the most famous person on the planet.
Why leave?
2.The Baseball Experiment
This thing had disaster written all over it from the word go.
Jordan just wasn't meant to be a baseball player and everyone knew it. But the people came out in droves to watch him play and it's not everyday you get to see the man, the myth, the legend whiffing on a high heater.
Lesson learned: don't quit your day job.
1. Drafting Kwame Brown
Let's just put it out there and get it over with: Michael Jordan isn't cut out to be a general manager in the NBA.
At this point, you could make a very strong argument that Kwame Brown is the biggest bust ever to be selected first overall in the NBA Draft.
Jordan couldn't resist the tremendous upside potential of the high school star and paid dearly for it. Brown has jumped from team to team and Jordan will always have this one hanging over his head.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Top Ten players we DON'T want the Bulls to draft
On June 25, at the Madison Square Garden in New York City, the NBA will trot out its newest crop of young talent for all to see.
The Chicago Bulls have the 16th and 26th picks and after falling in a gut-wrenching seven game series against the Boston Celtics, fans have high hopes for the upcoming year. This draft is crucial to the team's plans for the remainder of the off-season.
So we decided to give new general manager Gar Forman a little help with the Top Ten players we DON'T want the Bulls to draft.
10. Terrence Williams - Louisville
There's just too many question marks surrounding Williams for the Bulls to risk a first round pick on him.
Depending on which mock draft you look at, Holiday is either a lottery or top 25 pick. With such a wide margin of differing opinions, you can't have much confidence in a kid who many feel came out too early.
The Bulls aren't in the position to take on a project and that's exactly what you'd be getting in Holiday.
The Bulls have failed miserably at drafting international players (outside of a certain Croatian) and taking a stab at this Israeli export is the worst mistake they could possibly make.
There's no possible chance the Bulls would take Mills at 16, but if Lawson and Flynn are off the board and Mills is available at 26, watch out. Mills may be the choice.
He's undersized, from a small program and too much of a shoot first PG that would remind us too much of Ben Gordon.
Simply because Dick Vitale has a unspeakable man-crush on you does not mean that you're destined for great things in the NBA. But Lawson did show some mettle while toughing it out in the NCAA Tournament, so we will give him props for that.
But as for whether or not he'd be a solid complimentary player to Derrick Rose, we'll lean towards negative.
At best, Henderson will enter the NBA and eventually become a poor man's version of Richard Jefferson. His athleticism cannot be questioned, but please do not confuse that with NBA potential.
There were plenty of opportunities for Henderson to excel with Duke when they were in desperate need of a consistent scoring threat and he failed to deliver. But I will say that there's an excellent chance Henderson enters the Slam Dunk contest this season and wrestles away the title from Nate Robinson.
It's very easy to fall in love with size and the Bulls certainly are a perfect example of just that. The Jerry Krause dream of having twin towers in Eddy Curry and Tyson Chandler backfired louder than your uncle's old El Camino.
Mullens is nothing special and never will be. He failed to really dominate in either high school or the collegiate ranks and just fits the bill of being a monumental bust.
The local media was all abuzz when it was revealed the Bulls brought Flynn in for a private workout. Some were puzzled, including Flynn himself, about why the Bulls would do such a thing
considering the fact he's a potential lottery pick and the Bulls are way up at the 16th overall pick.
First and foremost, I truly hope the Bulls aren't considering moving up to get Flynn. But if he falls to them at 16, why waste two consecutive first round picks on a point guard when you've had a quagmire at the position for a couple years now?
The thought of Chase Budinger in a Chicago Bulls uniform is too much for me to stand. But it makes so much sense from a Paxson point of view that it keeps me up at night.
There's nothing to like about this converted volleyball player out of Arizona. Sure, he can jump out of the gym but just ask Harold Miner how well that worked out for him.
Unfair comparison sure, but Budinger is not what this team needs and it's a very rare occasion when you should honestly consider taking a Wildcat in the draft.
I'll resist the temptation of comparing Hansbrough to Mark Madsen like so many often do. What frightens me is that he fits the mold of what the Bulls have consistently looked for in the draft since John Paxson took over.
He's got the big time program pedigree, a motor that supposedly never quits and the team first mentality Paxson drools over. With new GM Gar Forman at the helm, hopefully this team can stray from its M.O. and do something different.
The Chicago Bulls have the 16th and 26th picks and after falling in a gut-wrenching seven game series against the Boston Celtics, fans have high hopes for the upcoming year. This draft is crucial to the team's plans for the remainder of the off-season.
So we decided to give new general manager Gar Forman a little help with the Top Ten players we DON'T want the Bulls to draft.
10. Terrence Williams - Louisville
There's just too many question marks surrounding Williams for the Bulls to risk a first round pick on him.
9. Jrue Holiday - UCLA
Depending on which mock draft you look at, Holiday is either a lottery or top 25 pick. With such a wide margin of differing opinions, you can't have much confidence in a kid who many feel came out too early.
The Bulls aren't in the position to take on a project and that's exactly what you'd be getting in Holiday.
8. Omri Casspi - Israel
The Bulls have failed miserably at drafting international players (outside of a certain Croatian) and taking a stab at this Israeli export is the worst mistake they could possibly make.
7. Patrick Mills - St. Mary's
There's no possible chance the Bulls would take Mills at 16, but if Lawson and Flynn are off the board and Mills is available at 26, watch out. Mills may be the choice.
He's undersized, from a small program and too much of a shoot first PG that would remind us too much of Ben Gordon.
6. Ty Lawson - UNC
Simply because Dick Vitale has a unspeakable man-crush on you does not mean that you're destined for great things in the NBA. But Lawson did show some mettle while toughing it out in the NCAA Tournament, so we will give him props for that.
But as for whether or not he'd be a solid complimentary player to Derrick Rose, we'll lean towards negative.
5. Gerald Henderson - Duke
At best, Henderson will enter the NBA and eventually become a poor man's version of Richard Jefferson. His athleticism cannot be questioned, but please do not confuse that with NBA potential.
There were plenty of opportunities for Henderson to excel with Duke when they were in desperate need of a consistent scoring threat and he failed to deliver. But I will say that there's an excellent chance Henderson enters the Slam Dunk contest this season and wrestles away the title from Nate Robinson.
4. B.J. Mullens - Ohio State
It's very easy to fall in love with size and the Bulls certainly are a perfect example of just that. The Jerry Krause dream of having twin towers in Eddy Curry and Tyson Chandler backfired louder than your uncle's old El Camino.
Mullens is nothing special and never will be. He failed to really dominate in either high school or the collegiate ranks and just fits the bill of being a monumental bust.
3. Jonny Flynn - Syracuse
The local media was all abuzz when it was revealed the Bulls brought Flynn in for a private workout. Some were puzzled, including Flynn himself, about why the Bulls would do such a thing
considering the fact he's a potential lottery pick and the Bulls are way up at the 16th overall pick.
First and foremost, I truly hope the Bulls aren't considering moving up to get Flynn. But if he falls to them at 16, why waste two consecutive first round picks on a point guard when you've had a quagmire at the position for a couple years now?
2. Chase Budinger - Arizona
The thought of Chase Budinger in a Chicago Bulls uniform is too much for me to stand. But it makes so much sense from a Paxson point of view that it keeps me up at night.
There's nothing to like about this converted volleyball player out of Arizona. Sure, he can jump out of the gym but just ask Harold Miner how well that worked out for him.
Unfair comparison sure, but Budinger is not what this team needs and it's a very rare occasion when you should honestly consider taking a Wildcat in the draft.
1. Tyler Hansbrough - UNC
I'll resist the temptation of comparing Hansbrough to Mark Madsen like so many often do. What frightens me is that he fits the mold of what the Bulls have consistently looked for in the draft since John Paxson took over.
He's got the big time program pedigree, a motor that supposedly never quits and the team first mentality Paxson drools over. With new GM Gar Forman at the helm, hopefully this team can stray from its M.O. and do something different.
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