Top Ten goofiest looking Chicago athletes

BY MIKE JACOBSEN

Over a period of just a few, short months, Chicago sports fans have been subjected to an endless amount of buzz and excitement surrounding our beloved franchises. The Bulls and Hawks both made strides in the playoffs, the Bears finally have (gasp) a quarterback, and the Cubs and Sox are still in the hunt.

As I have absorbed the sports media coverage of the past 60 days or so, I realized something...there are some ugly dudes playing pro sports in this town!

In turn, I have compiled a list of the top ten goofiest looking characters that are currently playing professional sports in Chicago.

10. Greg Olsen

I truly respect Olsen as a football player and think that he can and will be a valuable asset to the Chicago Bears organization for many years to come (especially when he learns to block).

Yet, this doesn’t hide the fact that the former member of the U’s very own “7th Floor Crew” looks like a caveman. With his distinctive low brow ridge and overall Homo erectus like features, I don’t know if I should be cheering for him, or if I should be trying to have him save me a bunch of money on my car insurance.

9. Brian Campbell

No “goofiest looking list” would ever be complete without installing at least one ginger into the mix….enter Brian Campbell.

I don’t believe that I am alone in saying that Campbell had a pretty uneventful season and thus far, hasn’t really lived up to his eight year, $56.8 million contract.

8. Patrick Nyarko

Due to their recent success, I have to give the Chicago Fire some much needed love. They are currently 5-1-6 and sit atop the Eastern Conference of the MLS with 21 points.

As I was watching the Fire snatch a victory from Chivas U.S.A. this past Thursday, I noticed Patrick Nyarko, a native of Ghana, on the field and instantly knew he'd be a great addition to this list.

7. Craig Steltz

In my humble opinion, Steltz appears to be an odd combination of Jeff Spicoli from Fast Times at Ridgemont High and Kurt Cobain of Nirvana.

It’s not too often that one sees grimy, rather lengthy hair like this on an NFL player. But Steltz apparently feels that the Seattle grunge look works for him.

I’m thinking he should reconsider.

6. Adrian Peterson

Despite a solid college career at Georgia Southern University, Adrian Peterson’s skills as a starting tailback never really translated to the NFL. Fortunately, Peterson has been a pivotal part of our special teams for several years.

His ability to both block and tackle is what makes him an excellent resource for Dave Toub and the rest of the Bears coaching staff.

I love Adrian, but how can you not look at him and think Whoopi Goldberg?

5. Bobby Jenks

Someone needs to inform Jenks that the “grab ass era” that was once established by Nick Swisher and Toby Hall is long gone.

It’s time for him to quit dying that ridiculous goatee of his and grow up. I am aware of the fact that you look like an adult version of Eric Cartman from South Park, but take a razor to that thing already Bobby!

4. Alexei Ramirez

The first word that comes to mind when I see a picture of Alexei Ramirez is antelope.

Yes, I said it….antelope.

I am not sure exactly why, but it’s probably because of Ramirez’s slender frame and caved in face. Seriously, will somebody feed this man a cheeseburger?

Alexei needs to go on the “Bartolo Colon Diet,” and maybe then he will be able to put some meat on those bones.

3. Kirk Hinrich

After turning down the role of Spock in the recently released Star Trek prequel, Kirk admitted that he was still holding out for the starring role in the Keebler Elf biopic.

All jokes aside, I am an advocate of Kirk Hinrich being a part of the Bulls plans heading into the upcoming 2009-10 season. I don’t want to delve into this topic too much (because I could write three pages about this), but his versatility and leadership are something that will be missed once it’s gone.

2. Carlos Marmol

Carlos, Carlos, Carlos……. for whatever reason, MOST Cubs fans still love you to death (except for when you play in the WBC) and continue to put their faith in you.

But let’s face it my man, you aren’t going to be walking down a runway anytime soon.

I don’t know if it’s the Obama ears or what, but more often than not, you seem to leave me with a feeling of uneasiness when you approach the mound these days. Get your control back and throw the ball over the plate, son!

1. Joakim Noah

This is a big surprise, huh?

Yes, I have anointed Joakim Noah (a.k.a. “Sideshow Bob”) the goofiest looking character in Chicago sports, but I think that many Bulls fans would concur that he earned our respect during the Celtics playoff series.

And afterward he could hold his head high knowing that with Brian Scalabrine (a.k.a. Jackie Moon) on the court, he'd look like David Beckham in comparison.

Top Ten Chicago sports scandals

The city of Chicago has been featured prominently in the sports media world as of late thanks to NCAA infractions purportedly committed by Derrick Rose.

It's not the first time the city has been home to one of sport's most salacious scandals. No surprise when you take into account the long histories of its franchises.

So without further ado, here are the Top Ten Chicago sports scandals.

10. The Blowup Dolls

Have inflatable dolls ever created this big of a controversy?

The Sox were in the midst of a miserable road trip, playing up in Toronto, when the team needed a slump buster.

The solution? A pair of rubber dolls surrounded by strategically placed bats with a sigm that read 'You've Got to Push' hanging around one of their necks.

Think Ozzie Guillen had anything to do with that?

9. The Tank

Former Bears defensive lineman Tank Johnson was arrested by federal agents in 2006 after they searched his home and found a weapons cache that would make Rambo blush and marijuana. And that's just a taste of this guys laundry list of offenses during his stay in the Chi.

8. Albert Belle’s Disappearing Bat

Before Belle brought his muscle bound persona to the South Side, he was involved in what has to be considered one of the strangest tales in league history.

During a game against the Sox in 1994, then skipper Gene LaMont requested the umpires check Belle's bat for signs of tampering. Nothing was found, but the bat was confiscated and was to be sent to league offices for further investigation.

Belle's teammate Jason Grimsley decided to hoist himself up into an overhead crawlspace in the visitor locker room, shimmy through a narrow passage and lower himself into the adjacent umpire's locker room. There he switched Belle's bat with one of teammate Paul Sorrento's bats, only to have the umpires notice the change.

In his 2002 book, former Indians shortstop Omar Vizquel noted that they had to use Sorrento's bat because 'all of Albert's bats were corked'.

7. Tragedy at Ditka's

This one is going back a ways and has probably slipped from the memories of those old enough to remember it.

But on New Years Eve in 1964, an assortment of Chicago Bears players gathered at a bowling alley owned by the one and only, Mike Ditka. At some point in the night, a fight ensued between Bears players and patrons of the alley, resulting in the death of former Redskin Tony Parilli.

6. Blago's Bargaining Chip

This yarn combines the two attributes Chicago is notorious for: the Cubs and shady politics.

Blago's exploits have also been well documented and the feds are still trying to sort through the details. But according to the federal complaint, in a tapped phone conversation, Blago said that in order for the Cubs to secure IFA financing for the sale of Wrigley Field, they needed to "fire all those (expletive) people, get 'em the (expletive) out of there, and get us some editorial support."

5. Cubs = Ticket Scalpers

For years getting a ticket to Wrigley has progressively become more and more of an arduous challenge. And when you find out that the Cubs were running a shady ticket scheme, it should be no surprise the fans went absolutely balistic.

The Cubs had ownership in Wrigley Field Premium Tickets; an outfit provided with face-value Cubs tickets that they in turn, sold for a higher price to the fans.

Only in Chicago.

4. M. Jeff's Night Out in Atlantic City

The night before a playoff game against the New York Knicks in 1993, Jordan created a media firestorm by being spotted at an Atlantic City casino. That alone wouldn't have been so bad until you combined it with the fact Jordan admitted to dropping $57,000 on gambling debts earlier that same season.

3. Sammy’s Corked Bat

The curious case of Sammy Sosa and the source of his power at the plate came more into focus on a June day in 2002 when he was caught using a corked bat against the Rays.

He claimed to only have the bat in his possession for batting practice to give the fans a show but nobody bought it.

2. Derrick Rose

This is so fresh in the minds of Chicago sports fans that I won't rehash the stories of alleged cheating on the SAT or grade fixing.

But the truth is, regardless of what else comes from this scandal, the perception of Rose won't change much. He's a professional athelte now and a hired gun when he was in Memphis. This entire situation is more indicative of the serious issues surrounding NCAA basketball that nobody wants to acknowledge exist.

Might not be that way for much longer.

1. Black Sox

The Black Sox are perhaps the most notorious team in the history of baseball for all the wrong reasons. Shoeless Joe Jackson and the rest of the pale hose cohorts fixed the 1919 World Series against the Cincinnati Reds.

They're responsible for the biggest black eye this city has ever had to endure and will remain the first reference anyone makes when the topic of gambling in sports arises.

Top Ten Chicago sports figures we'd like to see on Man vs. Wild

If you didn't get a chance to see it, Will Ferrel appeared on Man vs. Wild last night on the Discovery Channel. He was put to the test in the elements along side Mother Nature's usual whipping boy, show host Bear Grylls.

An epic adventure for sure.

So it got us to thinking, what Chicago athletes would we like to see on the show? Here are the Top Ten we came up with...

10. Virginia McCaskey

Cruel?

Yes. But oh, so worth it.

9. Kevin Garnett

As much as I’d like to see this happen, I just don’t think Kevin Garnett would ever come back.

You’d probably find him a year later living amongst a pack of wolves, making some young pup cry using his patented death stare for not boxing out.

8. Patrick Kane

With that scraggly playoff beard he was sporting by the time reached the Hawks reached the Eastern Conference finals, Kane sure looked the part of someone stranded on a deserted island.

But then again, he also looked like he just walked off the stage at his high school graduation.

7. Mark Prior

Chicago's former golden boy wouldn't last a second in the wild. Unfortunately for him, Mother Nature doesn't have an injured reserve.

6. Mark Buehrle

I'm not sure if anyone from Chicago is more suited to be featured on this show than Mark Buehrle. He's just backwoods enough that I think he'd actually enjoy it and you know he'd wouldn't slow up Bear at all.

His quick smells like burnt toast.

5. Joakim Noah

I can see the previews now:

This is Joakim Noah, and we doing it big, all day, all night out in Siberia this Tuesday on Man vs. Wild.

4. Devin Hester

Our boy D-Hest, aka The Windy City Flyer, would be even more lost than little old Virginia out in the elements.

Thank goodness he's fast, or, at least he used to be. Paul Konerko, on the other hand, would be straight meat for anything faster than a snapping turtle.

3. Milton Bradley

It would be interesting to see who Bradley would blame when the only person around him would be himself.

No reporters to bash, no umpires to criticize and nobody else to point a finger at.

What would he do then?

2. Lou Piniella

'What can I say? We'll eat some bugs in the morning, and then we'll see.'

Classic Lou. It'd be a peek into what Lou looks like on holiday in the offseason. I'm picturing a limitless supply of Tommy Bahama shirts and some dark sunglasses so he can check out the 'scenery'.

1. Mike Ditka

Envisioning Da Coach roaming around the middle of nowhere out in Africa has to put a smile on your face.

While I’m not sure if he’d don the vintage 80’s Bears sweater vest, I know his stache alone could keep a horde of tribesmen warm for months at a time.

Top Ten Michael Jordan low-lights

On the rare occasion someone actually reaches the kind of iconic status Michael Jordan has, it's not unusual to see their lesser moments of the past slowly fade away.

But every once in awhile, it's not a bad thing to take a trip down memory lane and that's what we're doing here today. Please understand that I worship at the altar of M. Jeff and this list isn't intended to try and tarnish the legacy he created.

So with that out of the way, here are the Top Ten Michael Jordan low-lights.

10. Cross by Allen Iverson

Jordan left the game with compound fractures in both ankles thanks to a fresh faced Iverson straight out of Georgetown.

M. Jeff was one of the league's best defenders, but even he couldn't slow down the Answer.

9. Drafting Adam Morrison


Morrison was a scoring machine for Gonzaga and seemed to be destined for great things in the Association. He's never fulfilled that prophecy and has spent more time in the trainer's room than the court.

8. Missed Dunk at the 2002 All Star Game

The man who made a name for himself with high flying, tongue wagging dunks couldn't throw one down on a breakaway at the 2002 All Star game. This was during the comeback years, making it a little more understandable.

But I think we all knew that it was over after this.

7. The Cigar Cutter

Jordan nearly severed his finger shortly after the Bulls took home the 1998 title. Some feel that this was the final straw before he retired from the game for a second time.

6. Gambling Accusations

It's no secret anymore that Jordan loved to gamble.

Every one in awhile someone will bring up that rumor that goes something like, Jordan didn't actually retire from basketball in 1993, he was actually suspended for gambling.

There's no evidence to support that claim, but I wouldn't be so shocked if it was true.

5. Knocking Out Steve Kerr

Come on Mike.

Steve Kerr?

But you've got to give Kerr credit for not backing down because Mike was yoked at the time.

4. The Comeback Part Deux

The city of Chicago stunned when they heard Mike was coming back to the NBA, but in Wizards uniform. All eyes were upon the Wizards with Mike in the lineup, but it was easy to see fairly early on that he wasn't the same.

I usually tend to try and forget those years.

3. Retiring from the NBA

You just won your third consecutive title. You were the greatest player and the most famous person on the planet.

Why leave?

2.The Baseball Experiment

This thing had disaster written all over it from the word go.

Jordan just wasn't meant to be a baseball player and everyone knew it. But the people came out in droves to watch him play and it's not everyday you get to see the man, the myth, the legend whiffing on a high heater.

Lesson learned: don't quit your day job.

1. Drafting Kwame Brown

Let's just put it out there and get it over with: Michael Jordan isn't cut out to be a general manager in the NBA.

At this point, you could make a very strong argument that Kwame Brown is the biggest bust ever to be selected first overall in the NBA Draft.

Jordan couldn't resist the tremendous upside potential of the high school star and paid dearly for it. Brown has jumped from team to team and Jordan will always have this one hanging over his head.

Top Ten players we DON'T want the Bulls to draft

On June 25, at the Madison Square Garden in New York City, the NBA will trot out its newest crop of young talent for all to see.

The Chicago Bulls have the 16th and 26th picks and after falling in a gut-wrenching seven game series against the Boston Celtics, fans have high hopes for the upcoming year. This draft is crucial to the team's plans for the remainder of the off-season.

So we decided to give new general manager Gar Forman a little help with the Top Ten players we DON'T want the Bulls to draft.

10. Terrence Williams - Louisville

There's just too many question marks surrounding Williams for the Bulls to risk a first round pick on him.

9. Jrue Holiday - UCLA

Depending on which mock draft you look at, Holiday is either a lottery or top 25 pick. With such a wide margin of differing opinions, you can't have much confidence in a kid who many feel came out too early.

The Bulls aren't in the position to take on a project and that's exactly what you'd be getting in Holiday.

8. Omri Casspi - Israel

The Bulls have failed miserably at drafting international players (outside of a certain Croatian) and taking a stab at this Israeli export is the worst mistake they could possibly make.

7. Patrick Mills - St. Mary's

There's no possible chance the Bulls would take Mills at 16, but if Lawson and Flynn are off the board and Mills is available at 26, watch out. Mills may be the choice.

He's undersized, from a small program and too much of a shoot first PG that would remind us too much of Ben Gordon.

6. Ty Lawson - UNC

Simply because Dick Vitale has a unspeakable man-crush on you does not mean that you're destined for great things in the NBA. But Lawson did show some mettle while toughing it out in the NCAA Tournament, so we will give him props for that.

But as for whether or not he'd be a solid complimentary player to Derrick Rose, we'll lean towards negative.

5. Gerald Henderson - Duke

At best, Henderson will enter the NBA and eventually become a poor man's version of Richard Jefferson. His athleticism cannot be questioned, but please do not confuse that with NBA potential.

There were plenty of opportunities for Henderson to excel with Duke when they were in desperate need of a consistent scoring threat and he failed to deliver. But I will say that there's an excellent chance Henderson enters the Slam Dunk contest this season and wrestles away the title from Nate Robinson.

4. B.J. Mullens - Ohio State

It's very easy to fall in love with size and the Bulls certainly are a perfect example of just that. The Jerry Krause dream of having twin towers in Eddy Curry and Tyson Chandler backfired louder than your uncle's old El Camino.

Mullens is nothing special and never will be. He failed to really dominate in either high school or the collegiate ranks and just fits the bill of being a monumental bust.

3. Jonny Flynn - Syracuse

The local media was all abuzz when it was revealed the Bulls brought Flynn in for a private workout. Some were puzzled, including Flynn himself, about why the Bulls would do such a thing
considering the fact he's a potential lottery pick and the Bulls are way up at the 16th overall pick.

First and foremost, I truly hope the Bulls aren't considering moving up to get Flynn. But if he falls to them at 16, why waste two consecutive first round picks on a point guard when you've had a quagmire at the position for a couple years now?

2. Chase Budinger - Arizona

The thought of Chase Budinger in a Chicago Bulls uniform is too much for me to stand. But it makes so much sense from a Paxson point of view that it keeps me up at night.

There's nothing to like about this converted volleyball player out of Arizona. Sure, he can jump out of the gym but just ask Harold Miner how well that worked out for him.

Unfair comparison sure, but Budinger is not what this team needs and it's a very rare occasion when you should honestly consider taking a Wildcat in the draft.

1. Tyler Hansbrough - UNC

I'll resist the temptation of comparing Hansbrough to Mark Madsen like so many often do. What frightens me is that he fits the mold of what the Bulls have consistently looked for in the draft since John Paxson took over.

He's got the big time program pedigree, a motor that supposedly never quits and the team first mentality Paxson drools over. With new GM Gar Forman at the helm, hopefully this team can stray from its M.O. and do something different.

Top Ten Chicago wildcards

Chicago is home to some of the most intense and unpredictable sports personalities in the country. You never know what they're capable of until one day they go berserk and take a bat to a Gatorade machine (more on that later).

So with that in mind, here are the Top Ten Chicago wildcards.

And don't forget to check out our new home at ChicagoNow.

10. Tommie Harris

The oft injured Bears defensive tackle is always capable of delivering a colorful quote inside the locker room. After attending the Brian Urlacher school of contempt for the media, the student has officially surpassed the teacher.

9. Adam Burish

Chicago's very own version of Rocky at the Icecapades.

But Burish is no joke when it comes to dropping the gloves and squaring off guys twice his size. He's the lone bruiser for the Hawks despite not fitting the mold in any single way.

8. Olin Kreutz

Squaring up on Fred Miller is something not too many sane individuals would attempt. But Kreutz is literally eight different kinds of crazy and has the respect and fear of teammates and foes alike.

7. Bobby Jenks

Jenks solidified his position on this list after publicly admitting that he intentionally threw behind Texas Rangers 2B Ian Kinsler on a recent road trip.

If you do some digging, you'll find that Jenks certainly possesses quite the colorful past. Wildcard is definitely a moniker that suits him.

6. Tyrus Thomas

Ty-Riser really started to sell his brand of crazy to the fans of Chicago this past season. He was always quick to commit an out of control foul once frustration set in against an opponent.

I have a feeling Tyrus has only scratched the surface in this regard.

5. A.J. Pierzynski

AJ seems to invite trouble wherever he goes. But the Sox love him for it and so too do the fans. Who could ever forget the time he got sucker punched by Michael Barrett or his dropped third strike miracle during their World Series run.

4. Lou Piniella

The North Side skipper is legendary for his temper tantrums on and off the field. Whether he's tossing second base into the outfield or kicking dirt on an ornery umpire, Sweet Lou is always good for some unintentional comedy during the season.

3. Ozzie Guillen

We've already chronicled some of Ozzie's most epic rants here at TTCS. But Ozzie hasn't slowed down much in recent years and I'm sure by the end of his run we'll have plenty of ammo for a second go around.

2. Carlos Zambrano

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I present to you Exhibit A.

1. Milton Bradley

Note to Milton: If you really want us to believe you're not crazy, stop acting like it. You can't come to Chicago, proclaim your misunderstood sense of sanity, and proceed to act like a raving lunatic.

For more on Bradley, check out our Top Ten Milton Bradley Meltdowns, Moments and Quotes.

Top Ten Blackhawks who need to step up tonight

Ladies and Gentlemen, we are proud to announce that we are officially joining ChicagoNow, 'a network of blogs connecting passionate experts on a wide range of uniquely Chicago topics'.

TAKE ME THERE NOW!

Now that that's taken care of, onto today's list.

Tonight could be the last game of the season for the Chicago Blackhawks.

Despite the fact that they've exceeded every expectation, this city demands the Hawks win up in Detroit tonight against the Red Wings.

But in order to do so, they'll need some top notch performances from their best players.

Here are the Top Ten Blackhawks who need to step up tonight.

10. Martin Havlat

After logging only eight minutes of ice time in Game 4, it'd be unfair for us to expect too much from Havlat tonight.

He redeemed himself this season after being labeled injury prone by fans and media alike since he signed with the Hawks. But a vicious hit like the one he took in Game 4 would do damage to anyone and the fact that Havlat can still find the arena is enough to prove his toughness.

9. Andrew Ladd

The man who always seems to be in the right place at the right time. He's not very flashy and doesn't really do any one thing better than most. But Ladd has been a crucial piece of this playoff puzzle and they'll need a solid outing from him to slow down the Red Wings.

8. Kris Versteeg

This guy needs to take his head out of his you-know-what and stop putting the Hawks in horrific positions with the stupid penalties he's been committing as of late.

7. Joel Quenneville

Somehow, some way, Quenneville will need to get his young team ready for a game that carries enormous pressure on each of their shoulders.

Throw in the fact that they're playing up in the Joe and Quenneville certainly has his work cut out for him. Hopefully that little $10,000 rampage he went on about the referees plays to our advantage.

6. Patrick Sharp

The 27-year-old right winger has always come up big when the Hawks need it most in the playoffs thus far. No reason why that trend shouldn't continue tonight in the biggest game of the season.

5. Patrick Kane

Kane has flat out disappeared against the Red Wings and it's time the little man stepped up to the plate and delivered a performance like his hat-trick against the Canucks.

If he can just understand that not every pass has to be perfect and just play like he can, Kane could be the key to the Hawks making a comeback in this series.

4. Dustin Byfuglien

Big Bad Buff needs to wreak havoc in front of the very mediocre Red Wings goalie Chris Osgood tonight.

He needs to frustrate, anger, tempt, twist, pull, prod and take up space so that his linemates can get quality shots on goal.

3. Brian Campbell

As Campbell goes, so too do the Hawks.

If he's effective bringing up the puck for the Hawks without losing control, this team has proved how dangerous they can be. But if Campbell looks hesitant and gives up the puck inside the neutral zone tonight, get ready for a very ugly end to the season.

2. Jonathan Toews

Toews goal in Game 4 was the lone bright spot for the Hawks on Sunday, but he still finished -1 overall.

The young captain needs to find the back of the net early to take the pressure off of this team and set the tone.

1. Cristobal Huet

Whether it's fair or not, Huet could very well end up being the man people blame for the Hawks demise in the Western Conference Finals.

Being charged with the task of stopping one of the most efficient offenses in the NHL is something that should not be ignored. But I'm not here to defend Huet and I'm sure he probably wouldn't want me to.

For the Hawks to have ANY chance against the Wings tonight, Huet is going to have to stand on his head while humming along to Chelsea Dagger.

Top Ten reasons we're joining ChicagoNow

Ladies and Gentlemen, we are proud to announce that we are officially joining ChicagoNow, 'a network of blogs connecting passionate experts on a wide range of uniquely Chicago topics'.

TAKE ME THERE NOW!

But if you want to know why we've decided to make the big move, check out the list below.

10. Oversight

Our new bosses actually have rules for us to follow.

Who knew that yanking photos from other blogs doesn’t make it okay for you to use them on your blog?

9. Networking

This move is the equivalent of joining a blog version of Facebook.

Though we probably won’t post naked or embarrassing photos of ourselves.

8. Profile Pics

Now you’ll actually get to see our ugly mugs.

You poor, poor souls.

7. Sweet New Design

You’ll have to take our word for it, but the new site is something that needs to be seen to be believed.

6. Fame

Ha!

Not so much.

5. Disagreements

You can’t put two sports fans in a room and expect them to agree on everything unless they’re of the, “I regurgitate every opinion ESPN tells me to” variety.

So that’s what we want over at our new home with ChicagoNow.

If you got something to say, if you disagree, if you agree, if you think we’re idiots, TELL US! We’ll respond to as many comments as possible.

4. Credibility

Combining credibility and blogs together in a sentence usually results in rounds of laughter or Buzz Bissinger foaming at the mouth while spewing obscenities.

3. Our Friendly Neighborhood Stalker

ChicagoNow henchman Jimmy Greenfield has been on us like a madman trying to make sure we’re apart of this thing.

Jimmy, let’s just say I know a guy, who knows a guy, who knows a guy who can give you a great price on a hair piece.

See what I’m saying?

2. $$$$$$$$$

It all comes down to dollars and cents my friends.

And while it’s definitely a lot more cents than dollars, getting paid to blog is definitely something we’re interested in.

1. ChicagoNow has the Best Blogs in the City

With blogs from infamous Chicago personalities like ‘Blackjack’ McDowell, Len Kasper and Bob Brenly, ChicagoNow is the place for any Chi-Town sports nut.

And the perfect new home for Top Ten Chicago Sports.

Click here to visit the new site.

Click here to read the Top Ten reasons why Cubs fans shouldn't panic.

Top Ten summertime sports in Chicago

With Memorial Day coming up this weekend and the ridiculous weather heading our way, throngs of Chicagoans will be out celebrating their much deserved three day weekend.

They're loading up on brats and burgers, chips and dip, beer and ice...the perfect fixings for any backyard BBQ.

But in between eating food and soaking up the sun, there's plenty of summertime sports the city of Chicago will play to fill in the gaps.

10. Kickball

Following on the coat tails of dodgeball's remarkable comeback, kickball is creeping back into the consciousness of Chicagoans.

Chances are, you haven't laced 'em up for a kickball game since middle school. The rules remain the same so all you have to do is bring a strong boot and the rest will take care of itself.

9. Roller Hockey

I'm sure roller hockey is going to be even more popular this year due to the success of the Chicago Blackhawks as of late.

8. Bocce Ball

Bocce Ball has enjoyed a steady comeback in recent years. For some time in the late it was getting trounced by lawn darts in sales.

But after a handful of unfortunate incidents, lawn darts perished while bocce ball hung tough.

7. Hillbilly Horseshoes/Ladder Golf

Just like bags, we're not really sure what the official name is for this game. But you're definitely going to need some room and you're definitely going to need some practice.

6. Horseshoes

Finding a watering hole or buddy who's got a horseshoe pit at their disposal is a rarity these days.

Tossing shoes is a national pastime and won't ever lose its place amongst the best sports of the summertime.

5. Washers

Washers definitely falls under the much tougher than it looks category of rec sports. You wouldn't think tossing a metal washer in a box would be much of a challenge.

But they're ultra portable and you you'll find sets of washers at backyard BBQ's all over the city.

4. 21

Everyone has their own version of this driveway basketball classic. Unlimited tips, three tips and you're out, tipped on zero and you're out, etc. Games can turn into epic battles that last for hours.

I've definitely rolled my fair share of ankles cherry picking down low while some poor sap takes ball.

3. Sand Volleyball

Three words: North Avenue Beach.

Summertime in the city at its absolute best. There's a stretch of sand volleyball courts filled to the brim with players throughout the season. What better way to enjoy a hot Saturday than playing some volleyball in the sun and taking a dive in the lake immediately afterward. Not to mention the great 'scenery' all around.

Good times.

2. Bags, Bag-O, Cornhole

The perfect summertime sport. I swear that if they made this an Olympic event, I'd try out in a heartbeat.

Casual enough where you can easily sip on a cold one and talk some trash to your opponent at the same time, bags is equal parts skill and strategy.

The TTCS crew will take on any challenger.

1. Softball

Sixteen-inch softball is practically a religion in Chicago.

The lake front has been witness to some of the great softball sluggers and squads of all time. And standing in the outfield on gamenight is an experience that everyone should have at least once.

Top Ten commercials featuring the 1985 Chicago Bears

They were the most popular team in Chicago history. Perhaps the most dominant defense in NFL history. And even the greatest single season team of all time.

In 1985, the Bears were the toast of the city and had plenty of endorsement opportunities coming their way. The original intent of this list was to present the ten best commercials from only 1985, which proved to be impossible.

Most of these commercials do qualify under the original guidelines, but the rest were shot shortly after that magical season.

Here are the Top Ten commercials featuring the 1985 Chicago Bears.

10. Jim McMahon - Gotcha

How many of you forgot about Gotcha, the precursor to modern day paintball?

I know I did, but it didn't take me long to remember that it was absolute garbage.

9. Mike Ditka & Dick Butkus - Protector Rust Proofing

Is this the best mustache duo in commercial history?

8. Walter Payton - KangaROOS

I highly doubt that in present day, Walter Payton would be rocking KangaROOS.

He'd be more of the Nike kind of pitch man, starring in the same commercials that LaDanian Tomlinson is in these days. But back in the 80's, ROOs were no joke and Payton rocked a headband with their logo that any Bears fan would recognize in an instant.

7. The Fridge - McDonald's

Can you imagine what that man would do to a buffet line?

6. McDonald's Playoff Payoff

It was nice to see the B-List stars of the 85 Bears get a little face time.

Who knew this little vocal ensemble was just a tune up for their masterpiece, The Super Bowl Shuffle.

5. Jimmy Mac and the Fridge - Coke

I have absolutely no doubt that the Fridge could still pound a six pack of beer that fast.

That both amazes me and frightens me at the same time.

4. Dan Hampton - Walker Mufflers

Hampton looks like he's ready for the sequel to Tango and Cash.

3. The Fridge - GI Joe

'You better watch out Cobra, The Fridge is coming through'

Classic.

2. Steve McMichael and The Fridge - Tire America

Would you look at the size of those shorts?

They make the NBA players of the 70's and 80's look like they were straight outta Compton.

1. Jimmy Mac - Honda

Ah yes, the Punky QB at his finest.

Between the ridiculous 80's ensembles and the fact that he actually took his shirt off to hawk a scooter make this an instant classic.

Was he really that cool?

Top Ten 2005 White Sox that should return to the South Side

NOTE: TODAY MARKS OUR 300TH TOP TEN LIST SINCE WE BEGAN THIS SITE. CONGRATS TO THE ENTIRE TTCS CREW AND A BIG THANKS TO ALL OF OUR READERS BECAUSE WITHOUT YOU, WE'D BE NOTHING.

On to today's list.

Watching Scott Podsednik return to the White Sox really brought back some fond memories from 2005. And to everyone's surprise, he's actually been productive since making his debut on May 1.

So it got us thinking. With the Sox seemingly bogged down in mediocrity, who else from that 2005 squad could help them right now?

10. Shingo Takatsu

Two reasons:
1. The gong
2. The Frisbee pitch

9. Freddy Garcia

If Jose Contreras can’t break out of the funk he’s found himself in since the team broke camp, it’ll be sayonara to the prehistoric Cuban.

Sweaty Freddy could be had on the cheap and could fill the spot nicely if he can prove that his shoulder has healed from reconstructive surgery.

8. Luis Vizciano

Every bullpen in the bigs needs help in the bullpen, regardless of what the stats say. Vizciano may not be great, but he's serviceable and might feel good making a return to the South Side after being released by the Cubs in late April.

7. Geoff Blum

The sparsely used Blum is remembered only for his game-winning home run against the Houston Astros in extra innings in the World Series.

Not a bad way to be remembered in one of the greatest sports cities in the world.

He's now a reserve third baseman for the Astros and could be a stopgap until the Sox ultimately decide what to do at that position if Josh Fields fails.

6. Frank Thomas

Why not?

You're talking about one of the greatest, NON-STEROID sluggers in the history of baseball. The Big Hurt is lounging at home, still waiting for a phone call from a potential MLB franchise willing to sign him.

Should he get a call from the Sox?

5. Willie Harris

It's frightening to think that Fast Willie would actually be an upgrade over our current center field options.

He wouldn't be tough to pry away from the Nationals, a team that rarely finds time for him in the lineup.

4. Joe Crede

It's painful to see Crede rocking a Twins jersey these days. The Sox are scuffling along right now with a project in Josh Fields and miss the solid glove work Crede provided on a full time basis since 2003.

But the reality is Joe Crede will never be the player he could have been. Back problems are a death sentence for professional athletes and Crede is on his way down that path.

3. Brandon McCarthy

Sox fans were appalled when Kenny Williams traded away a kid that was once thought to be the future ace of the staff. In 2005 he performed at a level well beyond his years and seemed destined to be the next big thing.

He's since had his struggles since donning the Texas Rangers uniform but is off to a hot start in 2009 that includes a win over the White Sox this past Saturday.

2. Jon Garland

Garland, believe it or not, has been the model of consistency during his time in the bigs and would be a welcome addition to a Sox staff lacking just that.

He's made at least 32 starts for seven consecutive seasons and fell just short of recording his fifth consecutive season with 200+ innings pitched.

1. Aaron Rowand

Sox fans clamored for their 2005 starting center fielder when he left Philadelphia as a free agent, but the money didn't make sense and Rowand ended up with the Giants.

Rowand would be the perfect fit at this team's most glaring positional weakness in center field. He's a great clubhouse presence and would immediately bring a gold glove and above average bat back to the South Side.

Top Ten Celtics That Might Catch a 'Hard Foul' in Game 6

Whether you believe it's wrong or right, there's a chance at some point in tonight's Bulls-Celtics matchup, things could get ugly.

That's typically what happens after two teams beat the hell out of each other for five games.

Throw in what looked like a flagrant foul committed by Rajon Rondo of the C's in Game 5, and you can be sure the Bulls may be out for a little bit of good ol' fashioned payback.

Throw one at us, we'll throw one at you. Hit one of our guys, we hit one of yours.

Nearly every sport has its own version of retaliation and the NBA is no different. I'm not saying it's right, but we decided to have a little fun with it. Besides, it's just playoff basketball at its best.

10. Stephon Marbury

Marbury has been passing up big shots in this series faster than Elton John passes up...female companionship.

The Bulls will definitely be leaving this guy alone.

9. Ray Allen

While the Bulls got hosed on the non-flagrant foul at the end of Game 5, Ray Allen has just as much to complain about as anyone.

No way he should have fouled out of that game.

But Allen doesn't do much but make big shots from beyond the arc. The chances of him getting a hard foul at the rack are pretty slim.

8. Doc Rivers

"It was a great foul by Rondo. You always talk about playoff basketball, no layups. Rondo did it on the very last play and it won the game for us."

Yeah Doc, that makes sense.

I'm sure you'd say the same exact thing if the tables were turned and D. Rose gave a closed fist mouth shot to Kendrick Perkins on a potential game winning drive to the hoop.

7. Paul Pierce

Cold. Blooded. Killer.

The Bulls brain trust led by Vinnie Del Negro cooked up a plan to cover Pierce in the game's closing moments that would have made Tim Floyd stop and stare in disbelief.

This team respects Paul Pierce too much to deliver a cheap shot foul his way.

6. Rajon Rondo

The poor man's version of Lil Bow Wow is public enemy number one in Chicago.

That blatant cheap shot against Brad Miller in Game 5 of the series was a flagrant foul, no questions asked. We constantly gripe about the lack of consistency in officiating during the NBA Playoffs, yet the primary defense against Rondo's pimp hand is that the ref's should change the way they officiate at the end of games.

Huh?

The NBA. Where hypocrisy happens.

5. Kevin Garnett

I'm not sure how the Bulls could pull this off. Fouling a player that's not even in uniform is technically not even possible.

But I'm sure they could cook up a loose ball scenario where an Aaron Gray goes diving into the Celtics bench.

Either way, congratulations to Kevin Garnett for devolving into the Kenny Powers of the NBA.

4. Tony Allen

To the 16% of the nation who actually knows Tony Allen, explain to me where this 'lockdown perimeter defender' tag came from?

Allen has yet to do anything in this series except for committing two ridiculous fouls at the worst possible time for the Celtics.

I almost hope the Bulls don't use him as an example, he does more good for us than he does for his own team.

3. Glen Davis

Has a man ever possessed a nickname more accurate than that of Glen 'Big Baby' Davis?

2. Kendrick Perkins

“I don’t think the refs like the Boston Celtics. ..I don’t know... We’ve got a lot of talkers on this team, if you know what I mean.”

Yup, we know what you mean. But don't forget that everyone knows what a guy your size should be doing to a rail thin, undersized Bulls froncourt.

If you know what we mean.

1. Brian Scalabrine

Did Scalabrine do anything to deserve a hard foul?

Nope, sure didn't.

But the ginger haired wonder is the poster child for all things Boston and it just seems like he'd be the guy .

The ideal candidate for a hard Bulls foul.

Top Ten Chicago Bears Second Round Picks of All Time

Despite not having a first round pick in this year's draft, the Bears could still wind up selecting a player that has an impact on this team for years to come.

Is it going to be one of these players that Ricky talked about yesterday?

Only time will tell. But what we do know is that some of the best players in Bears history were snagged in the second round and here are the Top Ten.

10. Matt Forte – 2008

The rookie wunderkind blew away every expectation we could have come up with in his rookie season with the ballclub. He showed that he is more than capable of running either in between the tackles or sideline to sideline.

The future is even brighter for Forte now that the Bears have the services of Jay Cutler. I can't wait for the season start.

9. Mike Brown – 2000

Despite being plagued by injuries much of his career, Mike Brown's impact on the Bears will be felt for a long time.

He has a knack for coming up with a big play in the biggest of moments and his bone jarring hits still echo throughout Soldier Field.

8. Ron Rivera – 1984

Hola chico.

The name Ron Rivera remains fresh in the minds of Bears fans after a sour departure following the team's appearance in Super Bowl XLI.

Rivera played with the Bears for nine years, becoming both the first Puerto Rican or Mexican player in the league and the first to play in and win a Super Bowl.

7. Devin Hester – 2006

Devin Hester, you...are...mediocre?

Hester may have had a down year in 2008, but he is still the greatest return man the Bears ever had (no disrespect to Gayle Sayers). And there's still plenty of time left for him to regain his status as the league's best and possibly best of all time.

6. Charles Tillman – 2003

Is there anyone in the league better at stripping a football than Peanut?

Tillman's had more ups than downs in his career with the Bears and will remain a cornerstone of their secondary for years to come.

If you're like me, the everlasting image of Tillman you have in your mind is the game he ripped the ball away from Randy Moss in the end zone.

5. Matt Suhey – 1980

The man who plowed the way for the greatest running back of all time, Suhey was revered in the city of Chicago for his role on the 1985 Bears. Never once did you hear him complain about a lack of touches or limelight playing second fiddle to Payton.

He was as blue collar as they get and a symbol for everything the Bears fans expect from their players.

4. Bobby Douglass – 1969

Bobby Douglass was the original Randall Cunningham and one of the few Bears quarterbacks that could be considered above average. While nobody would ever confuse his passing abilities with those of the newly acquired Jay cutler, Douglass was in a class of his own with both feet on the ground.

In 1972, Douglass set the single season rushing record for a quarterback with an astounding 968 yards and eight touchdowns. That number was surpassed by Michael Vick in 1996.

The only difference? Vick had 16 games in his attempt to reach a record Douglass set in only 14 games.

3. Richie Petitbon – 1959

This rugged safety out of Tulane amassed 48 INT during his 13 year career while playing for the Bears, Rams and Redskins.

For fans too young to remember watching Petitbon patrol the secondary for the Bears, just imagine a more dominant version of Gary Fencik and you'll get the picture.

He was selected the Pro Bowl four times and named to the NFL All-Pro team five times before retiring and would eventually become head coach of the Washington Redskins.

2. Mike Singletary – 1981

Good old Samurai.

Long before he dropped his pants at halftime, Singletary was the heart and soul of the 1985 defense that is regarded by those who know anything about football as the greatest unit of all time. Opposing quarterbacks, running backs and wide receivers needed only one look into the wide eyes of the Samurai before the fear set in.

Some of his accolades include 10 trips to the Pro Bowl, two NFL Defensive Player of the Year awards and eight selections to the All Pro team.

Oh, and a little thing called the Hall of Fame.

1. Bill George – 1951

Credited with being the first middle linebacker in NFL history, Bill George was the origin of the mystique that surrounds this particular position for the Bears.

His accomplishments include eight consecutive Pro Bowl selections, eight All-Pro selections, 18 career interceptions and member of the NFL 1950's All-Decade Team.

George was inducted into the NFL Hall of Fame in 1974 and is still remembered as being the Bears toughest player of all time.

No small feat when you think of the legends the team has produced.

Top Ten Reasons Why the Blackhawks Will Beat the Flames

10. Flames First Round Failures

Picture the Buffalo Bills teams in the 90's that made it the Super Bowl four straight years and walked away losers four straight times.

The Flames recent trend of disappointments in the postseason may not be as extreme as the Bills', but you better believe losing in the first round in four consecutive years is in the back of their minds.

9. Depth

Youth is the attribute most refer to while speaking about the Hawks.

But what they should be paying attention to is the depth that has propelled the Hawks to their 46-24-12 record in 2008.

They'll lean heavily upon that depth in this series to combat the savvy know-how of the Flames veterans late in games.

8. Hawks are due

The Hawks playoff drought has been one of the more forgettable periods in the team's history. But now that they'll be making their first postseason appearance since 2002, all bets are off.

I'm a big believer in the law of averages and according to that twisted logic, the Hawks are due in a big way for a series win against the Flames.

7. Fearless

On one side of the coin you could look at this Hawks team and say that their lack of experience in the postseason will hurt them.

But then again, lack of experience could also translate into a sense of fearlessness for the young stars of the Hawks.

They'll be too focused on the task at hand as opposed to being too focused on the grandeur of the moment.

6. The return of Patrick Sharp

While Patrick Kane and Jonathan Toews get most of the love from the national media, it's time for Patrick Sharp to make his mark upon the NHL landscape.

Sharp missed the final five games of the regular season with a knee injury, but should be ready to lace 'em up tomorrow night. He'll need to be at full speed for the Hawks to take control of the series in its earliest stages.

5. Hawks were 4-0 against Calgary in 2008

Walking into the playoffs with a perfect regular season record against the Flames should give the Hawks a huge confidence boost. They know the tendencies, style and players of the Flames already and more importantly, they know how to beat them.

4. Miikka Kiprusoff

It's never enjoyable to witness a once great athlete descend into the twilight of his career.

Kiprusoff's had a tough go in the net this season, finishing up 32nd in the league in save percentage and 34th in goals against percentage. Things have gotten so bad for the veteran goalie that Flames head coach Mike Keenan yanked him out of their game against the Oilers last Friday and sat him on Saturday.

The Hawks have to be licking their chops.

3. Injuries to the Flames

The Flames have been devastated by injuries this season and could be without the services of Cory Sarich, Robyn Regehr, Mark Giordano and Curtis Glencross.

But don't expect the Hawks to shed any tears of sympathy for their first round opponents.

2. Home Ice

The Hawks were one of a handful of teams to sell out every home game this season and that streak will most certainly continue throughout their playoff run.

Hawks fans are among the most rabid in the league and come 7:30 PM tonight, the madhouse on Madison part deux will be ready to explode.

1. Nikolai Khabibulin

Come playoff time, having a hot goalie is the greatest commodity a team could possess.

Khabibulin ended the season on a good note, but his lifetime record against the Flames, 25-5-2, is what really jumps out at you.

It's not often a goalie has such a dominant record against any single franchise, but Khabibulin straight up owns the Flames. Throw in a top notch backup in Cristobal Huet and the Hawks have all the help they need in between the posts.