All seven of ya that stop by on Friday's to look at my post may be questioning where the stupid, meaningless, crediblity destroyer is. Well, Curtis told us all here at TTCS that I suck, Dubs sucks, Barnes is gonna start sucking and so on and so forth. So we've decided to let the next great American writer do his own today. We're posting it as he sent it. Enjoy.
10. The Soldier Boy
You almost look forward to seeing what arrogant dance he is going to do once he hits the end zone. Don’t let Goodell see him Superman or the league may hear about the up and coming Soldier Boy gang.
9. Because you don't want to have to ever punt to him
Common sense here. If the Bears didn’t have Hester, over time, they would have to face him. While losing Ayanbadejo isn’t the end of the world, his departure hurts the kick and punt teams. The mix of losing your top two special teams players doesn’t help.
8. The Madden Ranking
Freddy talked about the Madden ranking where his speed was 100. And while that is accurate, what is more important to the organization is the fact that in real life he would probably be rated 105 in real life. Multiple times he outran safeties who had 20-yard head starts on him. Now they may not have been moving initially as quickly as Hester out of the box, it wouldn’t have mattered because Devin made it look like they were standing still.
7. Who else are they going to put back there?
If Hester were to be sent packing, who else would they use? The most logical answer would be Nate Vasher. However, three years ago Nate couldn’t even beat out Bobby Wade, a man who muffed four punts in two weeks in ’05. Garrett Wolfe? I think they are scared to use him for fear of breaking. The Bears have no playmakers but Hester on their team. A season without him would be like watching a group of Pop Warner kids play flag football.
6. Salary Cap
Freddy’s only good point throughout his list is the fact that there will be no salary cap in 2010. Now I am no official and am not positive that that stat is actually accurate, but I’m going to believe it because this is the most reliable website in Chicago. Yeah? Regardless, somebody is going to be willing to throw tens of millions of dollars in his direction before Angelo has any idea what hit him.
5. Don’t want any more problems
Mr. Matt Olsen, one of the few with his head on straight, was indeed correct on his message and brings a valid point.
“In fact, I respect Hester even more for not vocally complaining in the offseason about his contract. Urlacher let it be known fairly early on that he was unhappy and I'd say a good faction of the Bears fan base weren't too happy with him because of it. Instead, Hester tried to do the right thing and keep it internal. When the time came and the Bears hadn't ponied up the cash, his only option was to sit out.”
But it could have only been a matter of time before he starts acting like Lance Brigg’s little brother and started demanding money or serious holdouts would follow.
4. Ball on the 40
It kind of speaks for itself, but with a healthy defense, expect a lot more three-and-outs. And with punters terrified to give up the big one, the offense will continue to get great field position more times than not. No other returner in football can guarantee that.
3. Marketable
With an aging Brian Urlacher on the downside of his career, Hester is the most marketable figure (besides Robbie Gould of course) on the organization. They will surely make more money on him than any other player on the team.
2. Offensive weapon
As Fred stated multiple times, the Bears want him to be an offensive threat as well as the return extraordinaire. But not only do they want him to play offense, they want him to be the #1 receiver. (Biggs article)
http://www.suntimes.com/sports/football/bears/1077416,CST-SPT-bear28.article
They needed to at least give him #3 money in order to do that. While he won’t have the production as many #1’s, even Reggie Brown has a 5-year, $27 million deal and he only caught 61 balls during the 2007 campaign.
1. Simply entertaining
This kind of ties into my #9, but he is fun to watch. No individual in the NFL is more entertaining than Hester. He is the penalty shot of the NFL, and he gets at least three good chances to return the ball for a TD every game. He makes heads turn and even if you’re not a Bears fan, if you hear that Devin is getting kicked to, you are going to change your channel to watch. Every time he touches the ball he has a chance to go the distance. I cannot say that for more than a handful of guys in football.
Friday, August 1, 2008
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
OHHH Curtis..nice post, but you had some gramatical errors yourself. Maybe you should check before ya post. I believe you also kinda repeated your #1, which you gave Freddy crap about repeating arguements last week. The job isn't as easy as it seems does it? Thanks for your post it was very accurate and Hester is pretty much God for the Bears.
My Ode to FJM
Curtis has been complaining about TTCS contributor Freddy Church for some time now and we wanted to give him a chance to show us what he’s got! So, in response to his douche-iness, I put on my Ken Tremendous cap and decided to unfairly pick out individual lines to bash. Let the games begin!
“And while that is accurate, what is more important to the organization is the fact that in real life he would probably be rated 105 in real life.”
Curtis literally said the same thing twice in the same sentence. That is so Joe Morgan. Throw in a couple “consistent-s” and a lifetime .392 OBP (why does he hate this stat so much? He was awesome at it. He even had a .466 OBP in ’75. .466! That’s fucking retarded) and Curtis could pass as an out-of-date sports “analyst”.
Let’s try Curtis’ patented “Redundancy Method” (only three easy payments of 9.95, plus shipping and handling, of course) for M&M’s: “And while that is accurate, what is more important to the Mars Company is the fact that in real life green M&M’s taste exactly the same as red M&M’s in real life, but only in real life and not in made up candy world. Real Life, Real Life, Real Life!!!!”
PS How does Mars get away with this? They all taste the same, yet people have favorite colors. Are we, as consumers, that retarded (rhetorical question)?
Moving on…
“Now I am no official and am not positive that that stat is actually accurate, but I’m going to believe it because this is the most reliable website in Chicago.”
What exactly is Curtis not an official of? Is he saying he is not an official of the salary cap? Does that position even exist? Or did he mean “expert” or something entirely different? We may never know.
Plus, what “stat” is he talking about? That would be a fact, not a stat. A stat uses numbers and mathematical equations to determine how good a player is. The fact that Curtis didn’t take five literal seconds (like I have done) and google: “no salary cap NFL 2010” is sophomoric at best. FYI at this time it is only speculation. It would be done to prevent a possible player lockout in 2011.
One more thing, websites do not exist in specific locations. They exist in a super network, if you will, of code and what not, called the World Wide Web, or something. So, I can only assume Curtis meant that TTCS “is the most reliable website ABOUT Chicago SPORTS.” If so then you are correct and thank you for your kind words!
That was a retarded sentence from beginning to end. Timmay!!!!
Next…
“But it could have only been a matter of time before he starts (sic) acting like Lance Brigg’s little brother and started demanding money or serious holdouts would follow.”
But it didn’t. Why did Curtis even add this? It adds nothing to his point and is based 100% on speculation. Awesome job.
Also “starts”, common, you’re better than that Curtis. I mean you used the proper tense eight words later. Did it just slip your mind for like seven words or something?
Nexto (poor attempt at bilingual-ness)
“downside of his career”
I have never heard of anyone on the “downside” of their career. I have heard there is a downside to some sort of action, like, “Yes swimming in the Nile River is fun, but on the downside, if you do a small fish may swim up your johnson and expand like a balloon.” Or maybe he meant “twilight of his career”? I can only assume.
In conclusion, most of Curtis’ top ten wasn’t all that bad and I even chuckled, yes chuckled, at the thought of Garrett Wolfe “breaking”, but Curtis has kind of been a dick to the TTCS crew and I thought I should properly return the favor to our g00d friend Curtis FJM-style.
Have a great weekend all! Also, please excuse any errors, I did this at work in haste. I'm kidding, of course, wreck my shit.
Nice job. Just a few things though.
"While losing Ayanbadejo isn’t the end of the world, his departure hurts the kick and punt teams."
I'm pretty certain that Hester plays on the kick and punt RETURN teams, no?
"And while that is accurate, what is more important to the organization is the fact that in real life he would probably be rated 105 in real life."
In real life, do you talk like a dip shit too? Why do you repeat "in real life" in the same sentence? Makes for a poor read Curtis. Shame on you.
"Now they may not have been moving initially as quickly as Hester out of the box, it wouldn’t have mattered because Devin made it look like they were standing still."
-"..as quickly" should be as quick.
-"..it wouldn't have mattered" fucks this whole sentence up. What wouldn't have mattered? You say that the defense may not have been moving as fast as Hester, from the get go and then say that it wouldn't have mattered. I'm assuming that you're trying to say that it wouldn't have mattered if they were truckin as fast as Hester from the get go because Hester still would have ran faster than the D. But if they were running as fast as Hester, taht would imply that they too, had Superman speed. And if they had Superman speed, Hester wouldn't have out ran them. Which leads me to believe that the final part of this #8 is complete bull shit and should have never made your list.
"The most logical answer would be Nate Vasher."
You and Mr. Vasher most be pretty close buds, Curtis. I mean, I know that I've never heard anybody call him Nate. I've always heard people say Nathan. But that's fine. I like to call Urlacher Big B. ANd what couldn't Vasher beat Bobby Wade in? All you said is that he couldn't beat Wade. Are you talking about a cooking competition or something else?
"But it could have only been a matter of time before he starts acting like Lance Brigg’s little brother and started demanding money or serious holdouts would follow.
Please, before you post anything anywhere, read your stuff and make sure that all words used in a sentence are used in the same tense. "It could have only been a matter of time before he starts..." The first half is futuristic, the last half is present. Make for a poor read, Curtis.
"With an aging Brian Urlacher on the downside of his career, Hester is the most marketable figure (besides Robbie Gould of course) on the organization. They will surely make more money on him than any other player on the team."
This theory should never be why a fan wants any player on the team that they love to watch. Angelo should re-sign Hester because the Bears can make money off of him more easily than any other Bear on the team? I'm sure that's why all Bears fans want him on the team. So that the franchise can rip more money from our wallets to purchase the $186.37 Hester jersey and a $11piss warm beer in a cup with Hester's face on it.
"...the Bears want him to be an offensive threat as well as the return extraordinaire. But not only do they want him to play offense, they want him to be the #1receiver. They needed to at least give him #3 money in order to do that."
Does the monetary value of a contract determine how many times a QB throws to you? If so, I'd like a new NFL hand book 'cause that portion is missing from the one that currently resides on my desk. Why does how much money you make determine how many times a pass is gonna come your way, Curtis? If they wanted him to be the #1 WR, sign him for whatever they did and throw the fuckin' pig skin at him. Perhaps you're trying to tell us that if Hester was to be the #1 WR, they should have gave him more money for his future achievments? Or maybe you don't know what you're talking about.
Ya' did good Curtis. Send us some more sometime.
Editor's note: After a second glance at my post, I noticed I used "common", instead of "come on." I'm a dick. I think I also missed a comma in the last paragraph...
Ok, I got through about half of Freddy's writing before I felt necessary to make a disclaimer:
Fred Church does not represent the views of all those who write for the site.
While I see what you are getting at, many of your arguments are really stupid.
People do call him Nate Vasher. And even if they didn't, who cares. You abbreviate girl's names in your posts all the time.
The guy wrote the post as to why the Bears needed to sign him, not why Fred Church needed to. The organization is looking at how to profit anyway possible. It is a business Freddy. They signed Hester to get as much productivity and as much profit as they could.
You ask him if he talks like shit in real life? Freddy, you say the word "tree" instead of "three" everytime, and then you actually write "tree" instead of "three." You should maybe be asking yourself the same question.
It's a simple fact that #1 receivers make more money than #3's.
This is getting old. Your arguments were weak.
Sign Curtis up, I liked the majority of his post.
sign him up them barnes.
i never once said that his list was no good.
last time i checked, it's my list, my opinions and the way i want to write it.
i never once claimed that my opinions were the same as all writers for ttcs. that's somethng that you and zach have decided to add on your comments.
but really, give curtis a day to post.
Post a Comment