Top Ten Chicago stories of the week

Here are the best stories from the past seven days, with a twist, of course. I stole this idea from here and already did it once here. Enjoy. Oh, and here's a picture of a NFL cheerleader. Yay!!!

10. Cubs to play at new Yankee Stadium; MLB "feels bad" for Cubs, throws them “a bone”

MLB just announced that the Cubs will play two exhibition games against the Yankees on April 3 and 4, the first games of any kind there. As crappy as I heard the old stadium was, this one is supposed to be luxurious, but ridiculously expensive. I don’t know if this is that big a deal for the Cubs, but it will provide the opportunity for some rich dudes to throw hundreds, and in some cases thousands, of dollars to enjoy a game that won’t even count.

9. Sox target Viciendo; Cuban Day Parade relocated to Chicago

I am not clear on the readiness of the “19-year-old”, but he is already being called the Babe Ruth of Cuba. Scouts are saying there is no reason why he won’t hit 30-40 HR in the major leagues. The Sox already have like 800 Cuban players on their team (ok two), which should be a big draw for Viciendo. If this works out Kenny Williams will of course be praised, even though he left his team without a plan or a third basemen before Viciendo defected. He is what I consider a “lucky GM."

8. Kerry Wood not coming back; White Sox fans oddly giddy

I grew up watching Wood and he has been the one stable force on the Cubs. When the Blauser’s and Alfonseca’s of the world came to and left Chicago, Wood stayed. He pretty much defined the heartbroken franchise – great promise and hope, only to rot in a pile of torn labrums, rotator cuffs and UCLs. It is sad to see him go and I hope he finds championship somewhere else.

7. Mark Cuban in trouble with SEC; Cubs fans' dreams shattered… again

6. Cubs trade for Gregg; tell Wood to “get the eff off my porch”

Gregg is cheap and keeps the Cubs bullpen decent, at least. He has closing experience and would be a simple fill in if Marmol struggles in the role. He is more of a Bob Howry-type (before Bob Howry sucked) than a Wood, who could be dominant at times. This is definitely a downgrade at the position, but it still keeps them above average. Lets hope Hart or Guzman come to form.

5. Northwestern beats Michigan, at football; hell freezes over, I presume

4. White Sox trade Swisher; razor blade sales skyrocket in 10451 ZIP code

Can this be anything other than a salary dump? The Yanks gave up nada (that's Spanish for nothing). Can Swish really have another season like he did this year? I would have to think not. I am a bit confused by this move, but hey, somehow it's going to work because Kenny Williams craps gold.

3. Dempster re-signs; Red Beard no longer living “pirate’s life”

So apparently I called it. Dempster signed a four-year 52MM deal with the Cubs. Prior to signing this contract, Dempster was seeking a 5-year, 75MM deal, which was insane. The Cubs moved onto Peavy and Dempster changed his tune. This is officially now a good sign and something that I can support. Also, I was right about the Cubs going after Furcal.

2. Bulls to go on ‘circus trip’; new stunt in works called “the Rose”

This means bad things for the Bulls. Since Jordan departed, the Bulls are a combined 6-53 after last nights loss to Lakers. The best run they had on the trip was 3-3. The circus needs to stop coming to Chicago. I mean, who really goes to those things anyway? Nobody I know and that's all that really matters. And if you have been to the circus in Chicago, you are supporting terribly played basketball, enslavement of animals and dead baby jokes.

1. Bears lose bad; Green Bay does its best “Pack-face”