Top Ten Chicago Sports Stories of the Week

It’s Friday!!! This is my first Friday post here at TTCS and I will use it to have my own type of Sexy Friday (minus the sweet pics of cheerleaders). Instead, I will use this time to play a game that I learned from Food Court Lunch. However, I am going to change the name of it to "Fun with Headlines Friday" to not seem like a plagiarist or something. So loosen those belts, grab a your cup of "coffee" (hopefully spiked with some sort of spirit to start the weekend off right) and lets enjoy the top stories in Chicago sports this past week (slightly altered, of course).

What’s that? You want a picture of a cheerleader? Okay, but just one. Who am I to deny you that right?

10. Notre Dame still can’t beat decent teams; world rejoices, again

The Fighting Irish’s 36-33 loss to Pitt was very telling. They seem to be able to play with-and even control-teams that are in the 20-40 rank range, but can’t seem to put them away. They are definitely on the right track with their recruiting and seem to be a year away from a ranking in the top 20. However, this year they haven’t accomplished what most Irish fans had hoped. The Irish have had a fairly easy schedule in 2008 and have been attempting to make a statement game, but rather, stumbled against UNC and Pitt. The Irish will look to make that statement Saturday against Boston College.

9. Bulls look terrible; where's the change Obama?

I watched my first Bulls game from start to finish on Wednesday and I can say with confidence that with the current rotation and offensive sets the Bulls will be AT BEST the eighth seed in the East. To help me deal with wasting like 3 hours on his team Wednesday, let me take this opportunity to say a word to my boy, VDN:

Hey, VDN, start Gordon. I know, he’s a whiny sissy, but outside of Rose, who is hands down the best player on your team, you don’t have a player on the team that can score consistently. Deng is officially a bust in the he’s-a-go-to-player way Pax thought he would be. However, he still has the opportunity to become a player a la Kukoc. Stop starting Sefa-alphabet and play some effing scorers so we are not down by like 15 at the half. Oh, and start running, your half court sets are terrible.

8. Illini beat Hawkeyes; Mohegan Sun opens in Urbana

After blowing a fourth quarter lead, Illinois was able to put it away with a field goal, taking them that much closer to a bowl game. I don't know how this season cannot be seen as a disappointment for Illinois. They should get bowl eligible this weekend with a win over Western Michigan. After that who knows as they face OSU then a surprising Northwestern team.

7. Peavy a real possibility; Dempster to play Scrooge McDuck in remake

So my prediction was wrong on what Dempster wanted. He is looking for 5/75MM, but Hendry only wants to give him four years (which I thought). Thus, Hendry is looking at an ulterior route and that is Jake Peavy. The Padres will want a SS and/or CF and a young P in return. The Cubs have all of that (Cedeno, Pie, Samardzija/Marshall), but Peavy may also want to restructure his contract. If this does work out the Cubs will upgrade at arguably their best position.

6. Northwestern beats Minnesota; and the game mattered!!!

5. Hawks look good; Chicago looks other way

Hey, the Blackhawks are on a three game winning streak. What? You hadn't heard? Yeah they are kind of good now. Their young talent is coming together - Sharp and Kane lead the team in points with 16 and 15 respectively - and the goaltenders are finally playing well. Things are looking up.

4. Bears barely beat bad Lions team; alliteration is awesome

This was a sad game to watch. The Bears looked terrible, but once again managed to pull it out in the end. Rex Grossman played because...

3. Kyle Orton hurt; Sex Cannon takes over; city on suicide watch

So now we have to deal with the Cannon as our QB. This can't end well. I mean, just when things are looking good at the one position that has haunted us for decades, the Neck Beard goes down in a heap - against the worst team in the NFC, no less. Wait what...?

2. Orton may play!!!; YAYYYY!!!!

1. Obama wins; Chicago set for massive traffic jam circa 2016

So this guy Barack Obama(?) is now our president. Ironically, this was by far the least I have been active in politics. I blame my favorite political science professor in college and this insightful bite:

"You know they are all full of [poop]."

Well, thanks teach! Anyway, by Obama becoming President, not only will the White Sox have a super awesome first pitch thrower, Chicago now looks that more appealing to the Olympic committee (Congrats Mayor Daley). So in about eight years this place will be like rush hour all the time with a sweet heightened sense of fear. Yayyy!