You and I both know that the majority of these fans will be back. They'll swear off the Cubs from now until spring training and when the boys of summer start popping up on WGN, all will be forgotten.
But for those of you who will break away from the North Side, this is for you.
As a disclaimer, I have to confess that I am a White Sox fan. I'm not writing this list to rip on the Cubs or their fans, but as a service to those who are adamant about dropping the team altogether.
So, without further ado, I present you with the Top Ten Teams You Could Root for Instead of the Cubs.
10. Padres
World Series titles: 0
Chance of winning a title in the next 10 years: 25%
Most Cubs fans probably still hold a grudge against this West Coast squad. It was against the Padres in 1984 the Cubs blew a two game lead in a best of five series.
But if you can get past those bad memories, the Padres might be a decent option to root for. They're in the National League, so you know that they'll come to Chicago at least once a year.
Not to mention that former Cubs phenom Mark Prior might be donning a Padres uniform next year if he can stay healthy.
Downside: Mark Prior is on the team.
9. Red Sox
World Series titles: 7
Chance of winning a title in the next 10 years: 75%
If there's any fan base out there that understand the frustrations of suffering through a championship drought like Cubs fans, it's Red Sox Nation.
They reversed the trend by winning their first title in 86 years back in 2004, and followed up with another one in 2007. In fact, they're still very much alive in the ALCS right now playing against the Tampa Bay Rays.
You've got Big Papi, Josh Beckett and potential AL MVP Dustin Pedroia to root for too.
Downside: They'd be playing at U.S. Cellular, so Wrigley would be out of the picture. And, you'd have to develop a wicked accent and love you some clam chowdah. (If the boys over at masshysteria have anything else to add, please feel free)
8. Marlins
World Series titles: 2
Chance of winning a title in the next 10 years: 60%
Another team with bad memories associated with them, the Marlins are currently in the first stage of their patented World Series strategy every six or seven years.
Stage 1: Develop young talent.
Stage 2: Win a World Series.
Stage 3: Trade away every All-Star player and stockpile young talent. Repeat Stage 1.
As long as you understand that there's going to be a rebuilding process that will last ten years before becoming relevant again, you should be good to go.
Downside: You couldn't ever buy a jersey of your favorite player because you know that they'll probably be traded sooner or later.
7. Reds
World Series titles: 5
Chance of winning a title in the next 10 years: 12%
There's a familiar face running the show out in Cincy and dude, let me tell you: this guy loves his veterans.
So much so, that you'll never have to worry about your best young talent getting enough experience in the minors. Meanwhile, you'll enjoy solid, fundamental baseball played by veterans like fan favorite Neifi Perez and if you're lucky, Corey Patterson.
Downside: Dude, it's Dusty Baker. Toothpick anyone?
6. Royals
World Series titles: 1
Chance of winning a title in the next 10 years: 3%
You've waited this long, so why not take a chance on your American League neighbor to the West.
You'll have the opportunity to root for players that someday will be All-Star talent for teams around the league. They're in the AL Central, so they'll come to U.S. Cellular at least nine time a year and you can still root against the White Sox!
Downside: Your most famous player, George Brett, enjoys pooping his pants.
5. Rangers
World Series titles: 0Chance of winning a title in the next 10 years: 30.5%
All you have to do is watch Josh Hamilton hitting moon shots out of Yankee Stadium to know who your favorite player is going to be.
They've got a great core of talent at the plate in Ian Kinsler, Hamilton, Michael Young, Milton Bradley, etc...All they need is pitching.
Plus, you can constantly brag about how the Nolan Ryan Express pounded former White Sox 3B Robin Ventura into a pulp at the age of 106.
Downside: You'd have to be a fan of the same team that George Bush roots for.
4. Brewers
World Series titles: 0Chance of winning a title in the next 10 years: 36.8%
Blasphemy!
How dare you!
I know, I know. If someone told me to root for one of my arch rivals I might get pretty upset about it too, but just hear me out.
They play in a stadium that's only a couple hours away that is by all accounts absolutely beautiful. They're in the NL Central so they'll be coming to Wrigley a bunch of times every summer, giving you a chance to stick it to your old team.
And they've got perhaps the coolest fat man in baseball. What's more fun than watching a fat man hit an inside the park home run?
Downside: The obvious, cheese, sausage races and you'd immediately have to become a terrible driver that enjoys cruising around ten miles under the posted speed limit.
3. Yankees
World Series titles: 26
Chance of winning a title in the next 10 years: 87%
Just look at that number.
The Evil Empire has hoisted the World Series trophy a ridiculous 26 times in their history! It's really almost unfair.
You'll never have to worry about whether or not your team is going to go after the big free agents. They have a contract with ESPN that guarantees the Yankees are mentioned at least five times every night during SportsCenter, even when the season is over and it's snowing outside.
Downside: Everyone else that's a fan of baseball will now hate you.
2. Twins
World Series titles: 3
Chance of winning a title in the next 10 years: 71%
This just might be the perfect fit for you.
They're the arch nemesis of the White Sox. They're hated by White Sox fans everywhere and are consistent enough to be in the running every single year.
If you choose to become a fan right now, you'd be doing yourself a big favor because this team is on its way to big things. It kills me to say that, but I see them as the Tampa Bay Rays two years ago.
They'll be playing in a new stadium in the next year or so and you could watch a team that is consistently the most fundamentally sound in the game.
Downside: You would become a Twinkie and be forced to get a bad haircut and figure out a way to work the phrase 'ay' at the end of every single thing you say.
1. Nationals
World Series titles: 0
World Series titles: 0
Chance of winning a title in the next 10 years: 4%
Huh?
"I read this entire list and you give me the Washington Nationals?!?"
Yes, I certainly did and I'll tell you why.
You'd be getting in at the ground floor. You wouldn't have to be worried about being labled a bandwagon jumper or fairweather fan simply because they don't have either!
You'd be the only one in the office sporting that sweet Ryan Zimmerman Nationals jersey and cap.
And when they win, you get to bask in all the glory as if you were apart of it. Nobody believed in you and you proved them all wrong.
Sounds pretty sweet doesn't it?
Downside: You'd be rooting for the Washington Nationals.
10 comments:
If the boys over at masshysteria have anything else to add, please feel free
And girl. And girl. Trust me when I say you do NOT want to piss off FMRA. She's kind of like the arc in Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Arc. Wherever she goes, death follows -- mostly ex-BF's souls/pride/will to live.
Added bonus for switching to the Nats: they'll throw in season tickets to the Generals, who also will win a World Series before the Cubs.
I would think the White Sox would be on the list. Then you could still go to your favorite teams games and not have to move.
Hello, Spud. Welcome, to my site. Commence the one upping? Or are you still reeling over the "Speed incident".
/pats own back
Oh, I haven't forgotten Dubs. I've spent the week watching every Sandra Bullock ever made.
Which is fine, because I was planning on doing that anyway.
The Twins have appeared in 3 World Series ('65, '87, '91), but only have 2 titles.
And we do not say 'ay' at the end of each sentence in the Land of 10,000 Lakes. We say, "You betcha." Or "Vikings suck." Whichever is more appropriate.
I've actually watched Love Potion No. 9 on repeat this past few days and I'm now convinced that Tate Donovan will write me back. I mean, he can't be that busy.
I live in DC and I can tell you, nothing is worse in this town then a Nats game. I mean, the new ballpark is kinda nice but when you go, you have to actually watch the Nats play baseball and that's not good for business at all. Plus the tix are pretty G.D. expensive for what promises to be a riduculously uneventful brand of ball.
However, those red caps with the W are kinda sharp. Plus any team that features the likes of Collin Balester, Matt Chico, and Austin Kearns can't be too bad can it?? Nats baseball fever...catch it!!
I will have to concur with Michael's comment. I cannot say I have ever heard a Minnesotan say "ay." I believe you are attributing a Canadian garbage word (which is actually spelt "eh") to the Minnesota dialect. We don't all have bad haircuts (though most of us do) and I don't think we'd be a good fit for Cubs fans because we're polite and are willing to respect visiting fans' loyalty to their own teams. Pouring beer on a visiting fan at the Metrodome (Target Field) would be seen as poor sportsmanship and blasphemy to Twins fanhood.
But you can't count the number of Phillipino children that have had warm cuddly nights on account of my discarded Marlin's jerseys.
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