I have done this for the Cubs and figured with the 2008 season coming to a close, the White Sox deserve the same treatment. Here are the Top Ten Reasons the Sox Won’t Make the Playoffs.
10. Rayz*
If this were any other year since the inception of the Rayz, the Sox would be a lock for the playoffs. However, the 2008 Rayz have decided to be awesome and have made this season a two bull rodeo with three riders looking on, vying for their shot at an eight second ride (I used to live in Texas).
*TTCS writer Ricky O’Donnell deserves credit for the “z” spelling of the Rayz when they officially change their name to "The Rayz" in 2020.
9. Something unexpected happens
Something crazy happens, like the Sox bus crashes on the way back to their hotel in Minnesota. Jenks’ cold beer cuts his lip as he drinks it causing him to flail his arms wildly, poking one of Floyd’s eyes out. This would be one plausible scenario in which the Sox could lose one to two major cogs in their winning machine.
8. The hot/cold offense
The Sox can score runs and lots of them. Chicago is second in the AL in runs scored this season, but have shown times that they can go cold as a team. If this happens at the wrong time, the Sox could find themselves looking from the outside in come October.
7. The ghost of Frank Chance
The player/manager of the 1908 Cubs will not let the Sox win the World Series on the 100 year anniversary of his, and the Cubs, last championship. Chance was a very aggressive man who would first bowl over AJ, spike him in the nuts and die his hair with his own blood than see the Sox win another World Series.
6. Red Sox
If the Sox do fail to hold the Central, they will be in a dogfight with the other Sox for the Wild Card (who currently have a better record than the bleached Sox). Both teams are basically equal in run differential and other fringe statistics. There is no solid way to determine who will win this battle. If this scenario comes to fruition, then the AL Wild Card, and the Sox playoff hopes, may just depend on who gets hot in the last week of the season.
5. Ozzie Guillen goes crazy
Ozzie finally looses his cool for good and goes on a murderous rampage. He starts in the clubhouse, choosing AJ as his first victim, moving onto OC and finally Swish. With the big three pains-in-his-ass out of the way, Guillen moves onto his greatest rival in any dugout, Lou Piniella.
Finding Piniella in a local diner, Guillen calmly walks up to the large Spaniard, screaming obscenities in barely comprehendible Spanglish, “I can rap better than you!” Even after thrashing multiple times with a machete, barrowed form Ugueth Urbina, Guillen’s blade cannot penetrate the large gut of Piniella. Breathing deeply from exhaustion, Guillen leaves the one-time Yankee bleeding, but alive. Guillen, now satisfied with the blood he has spilled over baseball field quarrels is ready to move onto his greatest threat; Jay Mariotti.
The fiery Venezuelan finds the loudmouth Mariotti asleep in his upscale Chicago condo. He is in the arms of young Filipino man. Guillen makes quick work of the younger Asian man, expertly cutting his throat. Blood soaks the purple silk sheets. Mariotti screams quite girlishly realizing his impending doom….You get the point.
4. Pitching
The Sox ERA has risen over a point in the second half of the season. As #8 has shown, this is a scary thought for a team that has binged and purged all season long on offense. If the pitching continues its upward trend, the Sox will struggle during times when the offense cools off.
3. Can’t beat good teams
The Sox have dominated terrible teams (as they should), yet they cannot beat anybody good. This season they have gone 18-25 against teams over .500 in the AL. If this trend continues the Sox will not be able to hold onto the Central because of reason #1.
2. Twins
Chicago has a 42 run lead over the Twins in run differential, yet the Twins are keeping pace with the Sox. Year after year Minnesota plays over their heads, never, ever, ever going away. If the Twins keep playing at the level they are right now they will overtake the Sox as they play only 10 more games against teams over .500.
1. Schedule
Sorry Sox fans, but the Sox only play the Royals three more times. Chicago has had a pretty lame schedule to this point of the season and they have taken advantage of it. However, starting today the Sox will be playing 17 games against teams over .500, verse only 14 games against teams under the mediocre line. As #3 has shown, the Sox do not play well against good teams and are in serious threat of dropping out of the playoffs.
If this were any other year since the inception of the Rayz, the Sox would be a lock for the playoffs. However, the 2008 Rayz have decided to be awesome and have made this season a two bull rodeo with three riders looking on, vying for their shot at an eight second ride (I used to live in Texas).
*TTCS writer Ricky O’Donnell deserves credit for the “z” spelling of the Rayz when they officially change their name to "The Rayz" in 2020.
9. Something unexpected happens
Something crazy happens, like the Sox bus crashes on the way back to their hotel in Minnesota. Jenks’ cold beer cuts his lip as he drinks it causing him to flail his arms wildly, poking one of Floyd’s eyes out. This would be one plausible scenario in which the Sox could lose one to two major cogs in their winning machine.
8. The hot/cold offense
The Sox can score runs and lots of them. Chicago is second in the AL in runs scored this season, but have shown times that they can go cold as a team. If this happens at the wrong time, the Sox could find themselves looking from the outside in come October.
7. The ghost of Frank Chance
The player/manager of the 1908 Cubs will not let the Sox win the World Series on the 100 year anniversary of his, and the Cubs, last championship. Chance was a very aggressive man who would first bowl over AJ, spike him in the nuts and die his hair with his own blood than see the Sox win another World Series.
6. Red Sox
If the Sox do fail to hold the Central, they will be in a dogfight with the other Sox for the Wild Card (who currently have a better record than the bleached Sox). Both teams are basically equal in run differential and other fringe statistics. There is no solid way to determine who will win this battle. If this scenario comes to fruition, then the AL Wild Card, and the Sox playoff hopes, may just depend on who gets hot in the last week of the season.
5. Ozzie Guillen goes crazy
Ozzie finally looses his cool for good and goes on a murderous rampage. He starts in the clubhouse, choosing AJ as his first victim, moving onto OC and finally Swish. With the big three pains-in-his-ass out of the way, Guillen moves onto his greatest rival in any dugout, Lou Piniella.
Finding Piniella in a local diner, Guillen calmly walks up to the large Spaniard, screaming obscenities in barely comprehendible Spanglish, “I can rap better than you!” Even after thrashing multiple times with a machete, barrowed form Ugueth Urbina, Guillen’s blade cannot penetrate the large gut of Piniella. Breathing deeply from exhaustion, Guillen leaves the one-time Yankee bleeding, but alive. Guillen, now satisfied with the blood he has spilled over baseball field quarrels is ready to move onto his greatest threat; Jay Mariotti.
The fiery Venezuelan finds the loudmouth Mariotti asleep in his upscale Chicago condo. He is in the arms of young Filipino man. Guillen makes quick work of the younger Asian man, expertly cutting his throat. Blood soaks the purple silk sheets. Mariotti screams quite girlishly realizing his impending doom….You get the point.
4. Pitching
The Sox ERA has risen over a point in the second half of the season. As #8 has shown, this is a scary thought for a team that has binged and purged all season long on offense. If the pitching continues its upward trend, the Sox will struggle during times when the offense cools off.
3. Can’t beat good teams
The Sox have dominated terrible teams (as they should), yet they cannot beat anybody good. This season they have gone 18-25 against teams over .500 in the AL. If this trend continues the Sox will not be able to hold onto the Central because of reason #1.
2. Twins
Chicago has a 42 run lead over the Twins in run differential, yet the Twins are keeping pace with the Sox. Year after year Minnesota plays over their heads, never, ever, ever going away. If the Twins keep playing at the level they are right now they will overtake the Sox as they play only 10 more games against teams over .500.
1. Schedule
Sorry Sox fans, but the Sox only play the Royals three more times. Chicago has had a pretty lame schedule to this point of the season and they have taken advantage of it. However, starting today the Sox will be playing 17 games against teams over .500, verse only 14 games against teams under the mediocre line. As #3 has shown, the Sox do not play well against good teams and are in serious threat of dropping out of the playoffs.
2 comments:
Besides 7, which is completely irrelevant and thrown in there for humor, and reasons 5 and 3, (Then make reason 2=Sox) you could say these are all reasons that the Twins will not make the playoffs too. Half these reasons you could use for any team that’s in the playoff hunt right now. (hot/cold, will pitching hold up?, something unexpected happens)
I’m a firm believer that you need to be rolling into the playoffs on some sort of momentum (see 05). I’m not as down on the white sox as most other fans are right now. Compared to the final stretch in 05, we now have experience, an mvp candidate, Griffey, and jeff cox as our 3rd base coach. (okay those last 2 reasons probly sucked, but I needed more than 2)
I agree, except that the Sox first half success was based solely on the performance of thier pitching staff. The staff is giving up more than a run a game in the second half. That is worrisome. As '05 showed, they go as the pitching goes. If the pitching continues to struggle, then they might be in for a bit of trouble. The Twins, on the other hand, upgraded in the second half with the promotion of Liriano and are giving up about .5 runs less a game. This is a Sox specific stat.
I do think they will make the playoffs, but there are some, not many, red flags on this team.
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