Information is available instantaneously at your fingertips within seconds of it occurring and in some cases, can be watched from your computer or mobile phone.
However, with the continuous coverage of sports, a new problem has arisen that can be directly attributed to ESPN and talk radio: the overkill of certain storylines.
Lately, there has been an abundance of them and today we're giving you the Top Ten Stories That Need to Go Away:
10.The Cowboys
With a roster that could easily quit football tomorrow and become cast members on the Surreal Life, the Cowboys are sure to be leading the ESPN broadcasts in the very near future.You know the storylines (Pac...Adam Jones, T.O., Romo/Jessica Simpson, etc...) and you know how they'll be talked about ad nauseum by every member and broadcast outlet of ESPN and the NFL Network. To make matters worse, HBO is traveling to Dallas for their 'Hard Knocks' series where they will give an all access look into the Boys' training camp.
I'm looking forward to this about as much as the possibility of me having to wear diapers in a nursing home. It's that bad.
9.Spygate
I wonder if the guy who first came up with the tag 'Spygate' is getting any royalties off of it because if not, he's getting absolutely robbed.The thing about Spygate is I really don't see it as being that big of a deal and I'll prove it by using the Madden video games to prove it.
Growing up we all had the one friend who would repeatedly try to sneak a look at your controller in hopes of learning what play you were about to run. You probably realized he was doing it, but it really didn't matter because you knew the play would work and ended up wiping the floor with him anyway.
Same goes for the Pats, except they were going to wipe the floor with the New York Jets even if they didn't even know their own plays.
8.Tim Donaghy – The Fixer
The man who single- handedly destroyed the credibility of the NBA is trying to bring anyone within a ten-mile radius down with him and ESPN is loving every second of it.Despite looking like some sweaty guy you'd find trying to hoop at the local YMCA, Donaghy has quickly ascended to the upper echelon of scumbags that plague the world of sports. Lock him up, throw away the key and force him to watch reruns of the Tour de France from now until eternity.
7.Barkley and his Gambling Debts
Why is it anyone's business if Barkley chooses to blow $30k in a weekend gambling binge out in the casinos of Las Vegas?I can't imagine the big fella is hurting for cash these days with his T-Mobile commercials and commentator gig on TNT's NBA coverage. If he was still playing I'd acknowledge this might be an issue and worthy of sports media coverage.
Let the fat man roll the dice and hit on 19 whenever he wants. Just because he sucks at gambling doesn't mean he doesn't have the right to do it anyway.
6.A-Rod – Madonna – C-Rod Love Triangle
Anytime figures of the sports world cross over into pop culture I become physically ill. Alex Rodriguez popping up on TMZ.com because of an alleged affair with Madonna has quickly become a favorite talking point for my girlfriend and her closest gal pals.This, I cannot allow.
But the question I'm asking about this whole situation is this: if your Alex Rodriguez, is Madonna the best you could do? Wasn't Scarlett Johansson or some Victoria Secret model availble for some late night tryst and not some 40-something woman who has more creases on her face than an old catcher's mitt?
Maybe I'm being harsh, but I'm praying for a swift divorce and another classic A-Rod choke job if the Yanks make the playoffs.
5.Barry Bonds – No Team Wants You
Barry and his agent are imploring the MLB Players Association to look into possible collusion amongst MLB teams that may be collectively trying to keep the all-time HR champ out of the game.I can end the investigation for you right now Barry. The reason nobody is signing you is because NOBODY WANTS YOU ON THEIR TEAM!
Nobody wants the circus that comes along with having you on in the clubhouse and nobody on the team wants to deal with the daily barrage of questions about your contributions to the team and their opinions about steroids.
Go crawl into a hole and deflate on your own time and stop wasting ours with unrealistic hopes of donning a MLB uniform again
It's over.
4.Roger Clemens – Brian McNamee – Steroids
This is one scenario where a death match might actually be the best solution to ceasing the ridiculous coverage of these two steroid-bound idiots. The story just picked up steam again after mailing receipts were found that were supposedly from shipments of roid-juice directly to one Mr. Roger Clemens. His reputation is tarnished, nobody believes a words he says and the Hall of Fame seems long gone at this point.Let it go.
3.The Chicago Cubs 100-year World Series Drought
As a Sox fan, I probably bring this little tidbit up about once a week but I'd be happy to put an end to it if it means the media will do the same.The montages, the timelines, the search for a human being that was actually alive when they last won the World Series is not going to stop until next year when the media starts it all over again.
In no way am I saying that I hope the Cubs actually win a title, but it'd be a whole lot easier if everyone stopped anticipating an event that's not going to happen. This is the one team in history that defies the law of averages and I've got a 100 years of stats to prove it.
If I'm wrong, I like my crow medium rare with extra salt and pepper.
2.Tiger Woods
You wont' find a bigger Tiger Woods fan than me and I'm already sick and tired of hearing about the 'Tiger Effect' on golf.Is it really such a surprise that the majority of people don't watch golf when Tiger's not playing?
Every story that's been written on the subject must have been done by a reporter that has gone to the John Madden school of sports analysis. Tell them what they already know and have known for years and only make only the most obvious of observations and rest easy knowing that you'll never be wrong.
He's hurt and golf will suffer.
Enough said.
1.Brett Favre
The city of Chicago is collectively fighting back the urge to drive up to Green Bay and force Packers GM Ted Thompson to make a decision on whether to keep, trade or release Brett Favre before we tar and feather the man. Favre has owned the Bears in his career and to watch coverage of him day after day literally is the equivalent of being stuck in an elevator for 48 hours with seven ex-girlfriends who are in the mood to discuss everyone of your faults.I don't care what the hell they do up there, but please just end the insanity before John Clayton has to purchase Jose Canseco's trailer and park it front of Favre's house in Louisiana until opening day.
Look at Clayton and tell me he hasn't suffered enough strolling through life looking like that. He makes Carrot Top look like Fabio.
1 comment:
Olsen, you left out the Josh Hamilton "crack-cocaine addiction" story. haha. My buddies and I are still talking about how over-the-top Kruk, Phillips and whoever else did the Home Run Derby. I think one of the lines was this; "Josh Hamilton has 26 tattoos and he hates just about every one of them because he got that while he was ADDICTED TO CRACK-COCAINE." The tone of the voice cannot be replicated. What is the most astonishing part about this story is not that he was a drug user, but the fact that he was entirely out of baseball for three years and came back not as if he had lost a step, but that he excelled. Great post though.
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