Top Ten Reasons to Care More about Your Madden Dynasty than Your Homework

Since we are less than two weeks away from Madden 09, and three weeks away from most schools starting up....

10 Because the best thing about college is blowing off class

Remember in high school how you were stuck in one building for like six hours every day, with no where to run? College gives you the ability to skip that Literature class you hate so much and spend some quality time with virtual LaDanian Tomlinson.

9 Because in video games, it's possible for Rex Grossman not to screw everything up

Have you people been to Bourbonnais yet this year? Grossman is looking pathetic, and there seems to be no hope he’ll ever bust out of his role as the NFL’s biggest punch line. But in Madden…Rex can get the job done. Especially when you trade Olin Kruetz and a future number one pick for Randy Moss.

8 Because unlike school, you can play ALL your madden games online

Nothing is sweeter than online classes. But few kids take more than one per semester. Since the new v-game consoles came out, now you can do all your Madden gaming versus online. Nothing is more glorious than avoiding social interaction.

7 Because you can’t trade your professor for draft picks

Few things are more fun than selling off all your veterans for future draft picks in Madden. If you could only do that in school…

6 Because Madden the only place where Mike Brown and Phil Barnes have the same injury rating

TTCS’ oft-sick Monday-specialist is similar the Bears Mike Brown. Both are power players when healthy, but often succumb to debilitating illness or injury.

5 Because you can sim through the preseason

Is there anything worse than the NFL preseason? Of course, it’s the Pro Bowl. But seriously, the NFL preseason is one of the least enjoyable things ever. At least two or three star players get lost to injury in the preseason every year, which is easily avoidable in Madden by simulating those four weeks with injuries turned off.

4 Because my speed rating in real life isn’t a 100

TTCS’ best athlete is a hotly debated topic. In approximately 1934, Fred-Ex Church was stellar wrassler’ for Minooka High. Olsen claims to be a seven handicap on the golf course, Phillips believes he was a 6-1 version of Amare Stoudemire in his athletic prime, and Zach Martin played club baseball in college. Me? I hold the distinct honor of being the slowest kid on my high school track team. Needless to say, none of us could crack a 70 speed rating in Madden, let alone a Hester-like 100.

3 Because unlike when you fail a test, in Madden, you can always push the restart button

Few things are worse than bombing a final exam, but losing your undefeated Madden season in the Super Bowl is just as devastating. Luckily, video games allow you to restart the whole the thing and forget it ever happened. Though I haven’t pressed the restart button in about 13 years (pinky swear), I’m sure some people (cough-Zach-cough) still do.

2 I'm a journalism major so I know I’m going to be poor anyways

1 The Truck Stick doesn't work in real life

Nothing is more satisfying in Madden than plowing a defender with a power running back like Brandon Jacobs. If only the truck stick worked in real life, it would be a lot easier to find a place to stand on the CTA (imagine 10 people going flying) or to get to the front of the line at Chipotle. All you would have to do is lower your shoulder.