Top Ten Places You Might Find Pacman Jones in the State of Texas

One of TTCS’s favorite athletes is undoubtedly Pacman Jones. Any man with the audacity to get in trouble at multiple clubs and strip clubs, get suspended by his employer for doing so and then going to a strip club the night before a meeting with your “boss” about said incidents and telling him about it is a man in my book.

When it was announced Pacman was going to Dallas I was as giddy as Freddy on Thursday night before the unveiling of his list. When I found out HBO is filming their Hard Knocks series on the Cowboys I became even more excited. So in honor of Hard Knocks and Mr. Jones’ new city, here are the top ten places you might find Pacman in the state of Texas. Also a big shout out to my boy Tex and his crew who helped give me recommendations during my research.


10. University of Texas Co-ed dorms

We all know Pacman loves strip clubs, so is it safe to assume he also enjoys adult videos? I say yes, and with the craze in college girls, and Pacman’s propensity to, “make it rain” then the Co-ed dorms at UT Austin are no longer safe.

9. Perfect 10

This strip club in San Antonio is a favorite of my main man Tex. I’ll let Tex sum it up. “Wild Zebra has the hottest girls, but I enjoy Perfect 10 cause they have great lunch deals on good steaks so its fun to go there in between classes and see some entertainment and get some good food.”

8. Dallas Arms Collectors Gun Show

The next (of many) big gun shows in Texas is June 14-15 at Market Hall in Dallas. No doubt Pacman and Tank Johnson are headed there. If I live in the Dallas/Fort Worth area or the surrounding three counties I am locking my doors and not going anywhere near any clubs with the name “Ice” in it.

7. The Angry Dog

This upscale bar in downtown Dallas was described to me as a place where, “lots of people fight at.” Sounds like Pacman would feel right at home.

6. Platinum Club

They have $2.50 beers until 8 PM and friendly staff! Pacman will have plenty of money to spend with such cheap beer prices.

5. Jaguars Gold Club

Jaguars has five clubs in Texas including one in Dallas and Fort Worth. They also have one in everyone’s favorite football town Odessa and they are soon building their very own club in the great city of Chicago.

4. Silver City

When you go to Silver City’s website it advertises a full liquor bar, topless girls, and the latest UFC fight which will be broadcast live there. That sounds like an ideal place to find Pacman to me.

3. Spearmint Rhino

This place is really expensive not including the VIP room, but Pacman doesn’t have to worry about that because he’ll get it poppin’ with a couple bottles of Patron. I also enjoy that this club has a Myspace page in case you want to be even creepier than most strip club fanatics and become friends with Diamond and Chastity and the club’s DJ.

2. Men’s Club

This place has been a favorite of pro athletes like Frank Thomas because they have a fantastic VIP area with reasonable prices. This was the place recommended to be me by my Texas friends, but only one place can top the Men’s Club.

1. The Lodge

The Lodge is an upscale strip club that has been endorsed by Howard Stern, Dennis Rodman, and Tommy Lee. If I am building a Mount Rushmore of strip club experts then those three begin the monument and Pacman is the Abraham Lincoln rounding out the field.


There you have it folks and if you think Freddy the Mercenary isn’t checking out these clubs websites after he finishes reading this, then you don’t know the Mercenary well enough.