Thursday, January 22, 2009

Top Ten Changes That Need to be Made to the Super Bowl

It's a national holiday, or at least the day after should be.

The Super Bowl is the biggest sporting event of the year, but that doesn't mean it's perfect.

Far from it.

Here are the Top Ten Changes That Need to be Made to the Super Bowl.



10. No Domes

It's football. It's meant to be played in the elements. It's meant to be a struggle against the man in front of you in the environment around you.

How can a player run off the field without a grass stain on his jersey and feel like a champion?


9. Lose the Interpretive Dance


The NFL tries to show its softer side by allowing these ridiculous, modern dance routines into the stadium.

What is that even supposed to be?


8. Lose the Red Carpet


I'll keep this one short and simple:

At no point during the Super Bowl should Ryan Seacrest ever appear on my television screen. Let alone working the red carpet outside of the stadium.


7. Lower the Prices

According to this MSNBC article:

LiveStub, a secondary ticket site that doesn't charge commissions for tickets it sells, says the average selling price is $2,278 per seat. eBay's StubHub has the average this morning at $2,790 per seat.


How can anyone that's making the average salary possibly come up with that kind of money to see their team in the Super Bowl? Add in travel expenses, lodging, food and merchandise and you're somewhere in the neighborhood of a $5,000 weekend.


6. Start the Game Earlier

If you've already lost 85% of the senior citizen demographic before kickoff, how is starting the Super Bowl at midnight actually helping you out?

After the senior citizens pass out, the rest of the population that doesn't worship football rolls over at halftime, puts on the sleep timer and calls it a night.

This isn't brain science Mr. Goodell. It's common sense.


5. Announcers are Chosen, Not Assigned


NFL referees are graded throughout the season based upon their performance in game situations. The highest rated crews are chosen to officiate the Super Bowl - the highest honor in the profession.

Why not the same for NFL announcers?

We need to set up a system that grades announcers on their ability to improvise, accuracy and level of knowledge. Based upon those grades, two weeks before the Super Bowl the announcers would be chosen.

ESPN could even buy the rights to the selection show.

4. Let the Real Fans In



When the Bears made to the Super Bowl a few years back, the entire population of Chicago tried to get tickets. Of the five that actually got lucky enough to secure a seat in Florda, four were the kind that yell at you for standing up to cheer during a game.

Where are the real fans at?


3. Pick a Half Time Show People Actually Want to See


At this point, we're about two years away from seeing Yo-Yo Ma and Michael Buble at the 50-yard line during halftime.

Look, Nipplegate had just as a dramatic effect on my life as anyone else (I had no idea you could put something like that on your...).

But come on, does watching Paul McCartney or The Rolling Stones really get you pumped up to play some football? If you can't picture anyone in the locker room listening to any of these artists on their iPod before a game, find someone else.

It's time.


2. Bring the Bud Bowl back



Growing up I looked more forward to the Bud Bowl than the actual game.

Side note: Now that I think about it, that may explain alot of things. I can't imagine how I'd react to seeing a 10-year-old kid screaming Budweiser at the top of his lungs in front of the TV.

Bottom line, the Bud Bowl was the perfect Super Bowl companion and revolutionized the way people felt about commercials.


1.Change it to a Saturday

The NFL waved bye bye to tradition the minute they turned the game itself into the longest running advertisement you'll ever see. So don't give me, 'but it's always been on Sundays, it's a tradition', kind of arguments in the comments section.

This is the biggest cash register in professional sports right now and I'm truly shocked the NFL hasn't made the move yet. More people would watch, bars would sell more drinks, grocery stores would sell more junk food and less people would call in sick to work because of a Super Bowl Monday hangover.

You want to help the economy Mr. President?

Super Bowl Saturday it is.

28 comments:

Anonymous said...

Couldn't agree more with this list!!! Every point is dead on! I've been wishing for #10 for a while myself. Watching a football game has started to become more frustrating than anything with all the announcers pushing the networks evening line up, dancing graffics, and more commercial time than game time.
On the plus side, it's doubtful Dodge will shell out the dough for a Ram Challenge ad during every break.

Anonymous said...

SATURDAY SuperBowl is a "no-brainer", especially with the 2 week break to prepare.
I too am shocked the NFL has not moved to Saturday night. I also agree the game could start at 5pm ET and ratings would be a lot higher for the entire game=more ad dollars.

Anonymous said...

Ya mean Prince doesn't get you pumped for football? There should be a vote for which artist plays at halftime. It would only make sense

Anonymous said...

One more suggestion - no more confetti cannons! An artificial celebration that overwhelms "and obscures" the real celebration. It ranks right up there with the balloon drop at political conventions.

Anonymous said...

I agree with them all. I would like to add one more. Cut back on the pregame fluff. I want to watch a football game, not Entertainment tonight.

Anonymous said...

They should start a lottery system for at least a third of the tickets. For a small application fee say ten dollars a ticket you could apply for up to four tickets. Even at a premium price of $500.00 a ticket it would be a good deal. Application fees alone would bring in almost as much as the overinflated ticket prices that we see today.

Anonymous said...

Great post dude. I really agree with the Saturday thing. Half the nation takes the following Monday off anyways. Win win for everyone.

Anonymous said...

Great suggestions for # 10 - 3, but the top 2 are AWFUL. The Bud Bowl?!?!?! You've got to be kidding me. This pointless feature length commercial is what tugs at your heartstrings and reminds you of your youth??? I'm so sorry for you. And as long as they would start the game earlier on Sunday there would be no reason to move the game to Saturday. Tradition means nothing to you but you are looking out for the bars to make more money ?????

Anonymous said...

While I don't disagree with anything on your list, the first change on my list would be to do away with the extra week of crap leading up to it. With two weeks of nothing after the league championships, the 'super' bowl seems anticlimatic.

Anonymous said...

Halftime should be the same length as the regular season games. The rock concert totally destroys the rythem of the game.

Anonymous said...

To the people at the Super Bowl, football is the last thing they care about. It will be mostly Tampa Bay fans, celebrities, a small number of Cardinal fans, and a smaller number of Pittsburgh fans who haven't gotten tired of the cost and aggravation in past appearances. Who's winning? The Cubs!

Keep all the pageantry in Tampa and play the game in the home city of the team with the better record (Pittsburgh). We might actually get a well-played game instead of the comedy of errors we usually get. A big-screen TV could show the activities at the other site.

Anonymous said...

1) One idea that hasn't been finalized yet is having the Pro Bowl at the Super Bowl so the players in the SB can't participate. This idea is a flub. 2) I HATE the Bud Bowl and all its variations and I HATE Bud Beer! Leave this out. It's stupid. 3)Ryan Seacrest should not be allowed on ANY TV show, much less one that he has no relation to. Who IS this guy, how did he get the job he has, how has he worked his way "up" so fast, whose kid is he, and WHO does he have pictures of? 4) I like the Sat night idea - we could all safely drink more - and still have Sunday to recover. 5) I love the Stones but they should not be the SB entertainment. Doesn't mix. And I loved Paul with the Beatles, but his own stuff is too light weight. How about the MY Dolls? NO relation to football, either, but who cares?

Anonymous said...

NY Dolls, sorry

Digitizedmind said...

I whole heartedly agree that the Super Bowl needs to happen on SATURDAY!!! Nothing lamer than blowing it out on a Sunday night and then trying to decide whether or not to go to work the next day. Start the game around 6:00 PM and then follow it with a monster truck pull and Kid Rock concert. Lastly, I say a midget civil war re-enactment would the icing on the cake. Maybe one major battle per year. Get'r done bitch!

Anonymous said...

Super Bowl Saturday! Yes we can!

Anonymous said...

AMEN

Anonymous said...

Saturday is for college footbal. If you are such a wuss you can't go to work the next day maybe you should rent a pair for the weekend.

Anonymous said...

Remind me. Isn't college football over with by the time the Super Bowl is played?

Anonymous said...

To the Anonymous who says that Saturday is for college football:

Friend, if you can get up the Monday after the Super Bowl and go to your job, you sir, drink like a bitch and need to grow a pair yourself.

Just sayin'.

Vinnie said...

This is ridiculous. You want to play the game on a Saturday??? Football is played on Sundays, not Saturdays, and you want to play the biggest game of the year on a Saturday?!

Also, I don't know how you can get a bigger half-time show than Prince, Paul McCartney, the Stones, and Bruce. You are a nitwit. What do you want to see out there? Some lame metal band? Please.

Anonymous said...

Vinnie, you sound as smart as you look.

Anonymous said...

The superbowl is at 6pm you frikin pansies, who the hell can't watch a football game until 10pm???? You want the superbowl to start at 4pm Est. and 1pm Pac. - that's the dumbest thing i've ever heard. if you are such a pansie that you can't stay up till 10 or 10:30 to watch the greatest game on earth you should be banned from watching the game. and no Super Saturday is a crappy idea, we're talking a long-standing American tradition that will never be changed. A HAPPY GO FUN DAY, THANK GOD FOR SUNDAY!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Saturday football would be great for us military overseas. A game played Sunday at 6 pm (EST) starts at 8am on Monday here in Japan. I already miss all Sunday games during the season.

Anonymous said...

Lower the ticket prices?? Is there a surplus of tickets available? This is how a free market works.

If you lowered the prices, there would still be scalpers buying them up and the going price would still be $2500 on the internet. That price is set by the people, if people weren't paying that much the price would go down.

Perhaps a better idea would be to alot 30,000 seats to go to season ticket holders for each of the two teams. But even if season ticket holders could get them for less than a $1000 they would end up selling them to other people. Most people need the extra $$$.

Anonymous said...

If they can play the BCS Championship on a Tuesday or a Thursday, then they can play the Super Bowl on a Saturday. I am all for tradition, but I don't think this is a major one that we need to keep. MNF used to be a tradition before the NFL prostituted itself and sold the rights to ESPN. And if it gives people overseas a better opportunity to watch, why not do it. The NFL would like to do more overseas marketing. A Saturday night game would be much easier to market in Europe and Asia than a Sunday night game.

As for halftime shows, I thought that the NFL got it right with Tom Petty a few years back.

Anonymous said...

Petty is as much a part of Americana as the Super Bowl. The Stones, though from England, lie along the same line, as well. The Boss will be a great choice as well. If they have to have one, then I think those three were good choices. Better than the Jonas Brothers on Thanksgiving anyhow!

Anonymous said...

I've never heard anybody complain about the late starting time of the Super Bowl. 6pm on the East Coast is too late? I don't know why you say the game starts at midnight. Maybe you live in the UK.

Digitizedmind said...

Tradition went out the window when the NFL switched MNF from 8:00 CST to 7:30 CST. And then further, when SNF (NBC) blatantly ripped off ABC's MNF theme, even down to the stupid country singer theme song. Oh wait a minute, they even play games on Thursday night later in the season on the NFL network. SO SCREW ALL YOU F_CKNUTS WHO WANT TO KEEP THE SUPER BOWL ON SUNDAY BECAUSE OF TRADITION. CHANGE - YES WE CAN....bitch!