Thursday, March 13, 2008

Top Ten Original Nintendo Sports Games

I think I spent half of my childhood blowing into the end of my Nintendo video games trying to get them to work. If you played, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Everyone had their own preferred method; holding it sideways and blowing, holding down the reset button before turning the system back on, cleaning the inside with Q-Tips, etc...But the original offerings of sports games Nintendo introduced made it worth the effort.


10. Pro Wrestling


Before the days when you could suit up as the Ultimate Warrior and have an epic battle with Earthquake in a steel cage match, Pro Wrestling was about as close as it got to real wrestling with characters like Fighter Hayabusa and Kin Corn Karn.


9. Kung Fu

Would you make fun of me if I said I played this game with my official Daniel Russo - a.ka. the Karate Kid - headband on?

I thought so.

8. Slalom

Slalom's Mt. Nasty was a place "where the beer flows like wine. Where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano. I'm talking about a little place called Mt. Nasty!"

7. Tennis

Basically a glorified version of Pong, Tennis had the innate ability to make you play for three hours without actually accomplishing anything. Simplicity at its best.

6. 10-Yard Fight

You couldn't choose what play to run in Nintendo's first football game. Basically, after the snap you could try to run for it, or throw a pass to a receiver the game randomly chose. Personally, I think Bears offensive coordinator Ron Turner has based his entire playbook on this game.

5. Ice Hockey

You had the skinny guys, the average guys and the fat guys to choose from when building your Ice Hockey squad. I always went with a gang of fat slobs because they dominated on the boards.

That's how I roll.

4. Golf

You want to know how ridiculously uncool I am?

When I realized that the Wii golf course was the exact same course as the original Nintendo Golf course I nearly broke down in tears.

Did I really just write that?

3. Baseball

I swear to you that I once hit a 750-foot shot in this game, made even more impressive by the blazing speed in which my guys circled the bases. I would own you in this game. Know that.

2. Duck Hunt

Don't try to lie to me because I already know.

You were the guy who always put the gun right up against the screen when you played. I hate people like you.

1. EXCITEBIKE

Raise your hand if you spent hours building your dream Excitebike course, only to have the Nintendo freeze up right when you were about to go through the mind-boggling 36 consecutive jumps you set up for your rider?

That course was the stuff of legends.


(I know you were probably expecting to see games like Tecmo Bowl, Blades of Steel, Double Dribble and RBI baseball on this list, but that's not what this list was about.)


By: Matthew Olsen

6 comments:

Freddy in the Chi said...

20 years ago, after I'd place the thick grey cartriage into the system and pull it out just a fraction of an inch or so, and push it down to play the game, I'd sit in front of my parents Zentih television for hours on end desinging my course to maul on my dirt bike. And everytime that some-bitch would freeze up, I'd do it all again, missing diner with the family, to have it freeze once again. What a tremendous waste of my yourh spent on wasting time trying to do something that had my heart set on. Damn you Nintendo.

Zach Martin said...

thank you for this list... it brings me a happier time... ps karate is way better than 8... but i love the ideas and the list

Ricky O'Donnell said...

I can't wait until commenter Strummerville58 gives us his top ten favorite variations of 'kick the can'.

Tone said...

O, classic shit man. I used to blow into the game with a little spit action, put it in the system but stickin out a little bit and slam it down. If that didn't work, I fuckin hit the damn thing til it worked. Thats probably why we went through two of 'em. I agree with Zach, Karate was the shit, and yes O, you are a fag for wearin your Karate Kid headband. And, sad to say, I did put the gun up to the t.v. I'm ashamed but I had high scores baby!

Mike Clark said...

Don't be a hater, Ricky ...

Anonymous said...

How could you leave Tecmo Bowl and the ridiculous running games of Barry Sanders and Bo Jackson (who was unstoppable...literally)? Quite possibly the greatest of the original Nintendo sports games.