Top Ten Chicago Mugshots

Ah, the mugshot. Perhaps nothing gives you a better insight into the minds of those who have crossed paths with the law at one point or another. Over the years, Chicago has witnessed quite a few of its local athletes engaging in acts that have earned them a night or two in the local slammer. So when Chicago Bears running back Cedric Benson's booking photo was splashed all over the city, the boys at TTCS thought it perfect timing for our Top Ten Chicago Mugshots list to debut.

10. Charles Oakley - Chicago Bulls

Despite a glaring resemblance to Baltimore Ravens tackle Jonathan Ogden, Big Oak looks like he has something up his sleeve here. Maybe it's because he knows Michael Jordan is on his way with a limo full of women to bail him out and head for Atlantic City.

9. Jim McMahon - Chicago Bears

The Punky QB looks a little like he's enjoying life a little too much since his playing days ended. While he may have led the Bears to a Super Bowl, he still played for the Packers, leaving him somewhere between ESPN's Rachel Nichols and Skip Bayless in my book of people I detest.

8. Albert Belle - Chicago White Sox

He deserved to be arrested after stealing all that money the Sox paid during his stay with the South Siders.

7. Tony LaRussa - White Sox Manager

Pssst....Hey Tony.
Opening your eyes as wide as humanly possible doesn't make you look any more sober. In fact, they probably thought you were on crack.

6. Dennis Rodman - Chicago Bulls

Rodman may be the only man on this planet who could possibly look normal in a mugshot.

5. Kendra Davis - Wife of Chicago Bulls former player Antonio Davis

Miss Naomi Campbell-lite here and Allen Iverson's mom probably are at the peak of female insanity. Put the two of them together and you have more spare parts upstairs than an erector set.

4. Ron Artest - Chicago Bulls

Any day now I see this guy walking onto a court with 'Redrum' shaved into the back of his head.

3. Tank Johnson - Chicago Bears

"Officer, I swear on everything there's no weed in this house. Do I look like someone that gets high?"

2. Alonzo Spellman - Chicago Bears

I've never seen someone so excited to go to jail. But don't let his charming good looks fool you. Big Zo and his multiple personalities could wipe the floor with your squad in a pickup basketball game.

1. Cedric Benson - Chicago Bears

Yup, I think that's exactly how I would look after boozing on a boat, being pepper sprayed, dragged to the ground and wrestled into the back of a squad car.

This man needs to be added to our list of guys we want to party with.

Top Ten Guys Who Could Have Placed The Infamous Blowup Doll in the Sox Locker Room

Who done it?

10. Juan Uribe

You know, just to take some attention off that monster .239 OPB.

9. Adam Archuleta

I hear he's got some extra time on his hands now.

8. Josh Fields

When Adam Russell gets called to majors instead of you, you have to find a way to keep yourself sane somehow.

7. Alexei Ramirez

Sure Alexi, “visa problems”.

6. Kyle Orton

Got drunk, confused.

5. Cedric Benson

He can’t seem to do anything right at this point.

4. Ozzie Guillen

Only a crazy person would do something so foolish and Ozzie, yeah, he’s kinda nutty.

3. Jim Thome

WordUpThome: GREAT GOOGLED MOOGLY WHAT A VIEW

2. Brian Anderson

We never thought these were the type of ‘honeys’ BA was always talking about, but in a world where Marvin Harrison can shoot a guy, anything is possible.

1. Nick Swisher

Come on, when this first came out, everyone thought the same thing: Swiiiiiisherrrrr!

Top Ten Chicago Mascots

My editor for the Cubs wrote a little piece on the Mascots in the Cubs minor league system in our Cubs blog and it spurred my interest in Chicago sports teams mascots. Thus, this is my tribute to the greatest mascots in Chicago...enjoy!

10. Grabowski
( stations.espn.go.com/.../ story?id=mascots)

Kind of a random mascot, Grabowski does work for Iron Mike and should be well versed in ass kicking.

9. Blue Demon
(http://www.jamd.com/search?assettype=g&assetid=56946539&text=blue+demons+mascot)

He is a Blue Demon...it is weird looking but he does look like a bad ass blue Jamaican hard ass.

8. Southpaw

(homerderby.com/ archives/1003)

Not quite sure why the White Sox allowed this thing to roam their field but that is the south side for you.

7. Lou Wolf

(hoopedia.nba.com)

The first Wolf on the list...but this wolf ain't got skates...no balls!

6. Sparky the Firedog

(home.att.net/ ~hattrick-dals/)

Kind of a lame mascot, but it does fit the lameness of the soccer team.

5. The Sky Guy

(basketballfusion.com/)

He looks a lot like a Beer Drinking Simpson's character. Hey whatever puts seats in the empty building.

4. Tommy Hawk
( stations.espn.go.com/.../ story?id=mascots)

He has a sick look and probably could whoop your ass. Tommy's the man.

3. Skates
(www.dailyherald.com/.../ images/skates.JPG)

He can skate in a freagin' wolf suit...that is sick!

2. Staley Da Bear

(raymond.mlblogs.com)

He has "Da" as a middle name. That's cool.

1. Benny the Bull( bullsbrasil.wordpress.com)

Must be number one after DUI, drug charges and breaking a man's arm. Nobody can beat that.

Top Ten Michael Jordan Games

Trying to pick just 10 of Michael Jordan’s best games takes some time. Okay a lot of time. No two lists would be the same. Well, here goes and don’t worry, no games from his days with the Wizards are included.

10. 1993 NBA Finals vs. Phoenix Suns Game 4

Fans in the old Chicago Stadium had flashbacks to the 1987 version of Jordan on this night. Determined to bounce back from a triple overtime loss the previous game, Jordan put on a show, leaving Kevin Johnson, Dan Majerle and anyone else who tried to stop him in his dust. Giving the Bulls back control of the series, Jordan went for 56 points, trailing only Elgin Baylor for highest point total in a NBA Finals game. The Bulls would need every one of them, including Jordan’s three point play with 15 seconds left and his team nursing just a one-point lead. Best bud Charles Barkley could just look on in awe. Five days later, Jordan had his third straight championship.

9. 1995 Regular Season at New York Knicks

With only four games under his belt after coming back from retirement, Jordan still put on his customary Madison Square Garden show. Even the usually vicious New York fans, Spike Lee included, could only stand up and applaud. Forget the 55 points for a second. What most people remember is the game-winning assist to none other than Bill Wennington. Drawing three defenders in the lane, Jordan found a wide open Wennington for an easy dunk with only seconds to play in a tie ballgame. That basket perhaps even started the Wennington craze (McDonalds would later serve a Beef Wennington sandwich). Going from a scuffling minor league baseball player back to the national pastime in a few short weeks, Jordan proved he still knew how to take over a game. The fact he was guarded by nemesis John Starks for much of the night only made it that much sweeter.

8. 1988 NBA All-Star Game at Chicago

Flashback to the same game three years ago, Jordan’s rookie year. Supposedly, a few older players, mainly Isiah Thomas, Larry Bird, and Julius Erving, formed a plan to snub Jordan on the offensive end. Not on this night. In a season that saw Jordan average 35 points and win his first of many more MVP’s, the home-town fans were treated to quite a show by their hero. Down the stretch, his East teammates had apparently learned their lesson, as they were content to watch his airness go for 16 fourth quarter points on his way to 40 for the night, two off the all-time record set by Wilt Chamberlain. Starting alongside Thomas, Bird, Dominique Wilkins and Moses Malone, Jordan went 17 of 23 from the floor, also adding nine rebounds and five assists. Not even his triple double in the 1998 All-Star game could match this performance.

7. 1990 Regular Season at Cleveland Cavaliers

This just shows how incredible Jordan was. His highest scoring game comes in only 7^th on this list. All throughout his career, Jordan had a habit of terrorizing the Cavs, largely thanks to two men; Lenny Wilkins and Craig Ehlo. Wilkins would sit stubbornly on the bench and refuse to double team Jordan, while Ehlo had about the speed and quickness of your average high schooler. No wonder the Bulls knocked Cleveland out of the playoffs four different times in the late 80s/early 90s. The stats from this game will knock your socks off. Seemingly playing one-on-five, Jordan put in 69 points, 18 rebounds, and 7 assists. Afterwards Jordan, never one to rank his performances, said it had to be his best game ever. In his first year as head coach, Phil Jackson got just a taste of what was to come from his superstar. One year after “The Shot” (see below) Jordan managed to tear the hearts of Cleveland fans yet again.

6. 1992 NBA Finals vs. Portland Trail Blazers Game 1

Will anyone ever forget the shrug? How about the look of disbelief on Jordan’s face as he ran past Magic Johnson, who was broadcasting the game for NBC. Before this series started, people began chirping that maybe Clyde Drexler was closing the gap on Michael as the game’s most exciting player. Apparently, Michael heard the ridiculous talk, and as was his custom, played with a little something extra in his step. Just when sportswriters and commentators thought they had seen it all, MJ hit six three pointers in one 16 minute first half stretch, on his way to 35 points for the half. The famous expression came after his final trey. Running down the court with a horrified Danny Ainge lagging behind, Jordan couldn’t even believe his newfound three-point shooting. Never known as a three-point shooter, Jordan showed the only to defend him was a hope and a prayer. Oh yeah, the Bulls won by 33, setting the tone for a series they controlled throughout.

5. 1982 NCAA Championship Game vs. Georgetown

This is where the legend began. On a team with All-Americans James Worthy and Sam Perkins, Jordan was something of an afterthought as a freshman. Not one of the 60,000 people in New Orleans that night thought Jordan would take the last shot with Carolina trailing by one in the final minute. So why in the huddle did Dean Smith set up a play for Jordan to shoot from the corner? Perhaps he knew something the rest of the world would be finding out in the not-too distant future. With Patrick Ewing clogging the middle, Carolina swung it around the perimeter for a while, until Jordan finally released a 15-foot jumper from the left corner. You could argue the shot propelled his career in hitting pressure shots in big games. After a one point-win in possibly the best title game ever, Jordan went from getting cut by his varsity team three years ago to sitting on the cover of that week’s Sports Illustrated.

4. 1989 First Round at Cleveland Game 5

Remember that great commercial a while back when Jordan said “twenty six times I’ve been trusted to hit the game-winning shot and failed?” Unfortunately for Cleveland, this was not one of those times. How Jordan got free for a 15 footer off a sidelines inbounds play with only three seconds left remains a mystery. Perhaps Craig Ehlo and Lenny Wilkins thought Brad Sellers or Horace Grant would take the last shot. Make-or-break is an understatement. The teams traded leads nine times in the final three minutes. After Ehlo scored to put the Cavs up one, everyone knew where the ball was going. Michael’s hang time on his double pumped free throw line jumper became legendary, soon to be known as “The Shot.” His 44 points pushed the Bulls to the next round, where they eventually reached the Eastern Conference Finals for the first time in the Jordan era. Taunted by Cavs fans for much of the night after guaranteeing his Bulls would win the series in 4, Jordan, as usual, had the last laugh. “Choke” just wasn’t in his vocabulary.

3. 1998 NBA Finals at Utah Game 6

Years later, Bryon Russell still contended Jordan got away with a huge push off. Of course, no one paid attention. It was also the perfect pose. Right after making the go-ahead shot that beautifully swished through the net, Jordan held his follow through for an extra few seconds, likely knowing this was his last game in a Bulls uniform. From the moment it left Jordan’s hands, everyone in the building knew it was good. Look at the circumstances if Jordan misses that shot. An inspired Jazz team had already won Game 5 in Chicago to get the series back to the rowdy Delta Center. If there had been a 7^th game in Utah, Karl Malone and company probably win, especially considering Scottie Pippen was nowhere near 100% after injuring his back. People will never forget Jordan freezing and admiring his work, but think about what led up to that. John Stockton nailed a clutch three to put Utah ahead 86-83 with 40 seconds remaining. Jordan responded with the best 40 second stretch in NBA history. First, a driving lay-in that took about five seconds, meaning the Bulls didn’t have to foul. On the other end, just as Malone was about to make his move in the post, Jordan came in from behind and swiped the ball away, setting the stage for the fitting way Jordan ended his Bulls career. On a night where Pippen barely played, Jordan scored 45 of his team’s 87 points, practically willing the Bulls to a sixth championship.

2. 1986 First Round at Boston Celtics Game 2

Larry Bird claimed afterwards, “That was God disguised as Michael Jordan.” To score 63 points at the Garden against one of the all-time great NBA squads was unheard of. Whether it was jumpers over Bird, drives to the hole through Kevin McHale and Robert Parish, you name it, Jordan did it. A stunned Boston crowd watched Jordan, coming off a severe foot injury that had sidelined him for 64 games that season, pour in 63 points on national television. Opposing players and coaches soon realized Jordan was the future of the league. If only he didn’t have to play with guys like Dave Corzine, Orlando Woolridge, and Kyle Macy. Anyway, the overmatched Bulls lost in double overtime, but that was irrelevant.

1. 1997 NBA Finals at Utah Jazz Game 5

Oh those sneaky room service cooks. Bad pizza from the night before had Jordan throwing up all day. Lying in bed until the team bus departed, it appeared Jordan was a no-go for this pivotal game. Utah was proving to be a formidable opponent, having won the last two games, and playing at home, had a ton of confidence. Barely able to slide on the No. 23 jersey, Jordan did in fact play, despite looking like he should have been hooked up to an IV. Forget about Willis Reed. Anyone who remembers this game recalls the image of Jordan falling into Scottie Pippen’s arms near the end. He somehow summoned the energy to score 38 big points, including 16 in the second quarter after Utah had sprinted out to a huge early lead. The clinching shot was a Jordan three-pointer that gave the Bulls a three-point cushion with 20 seconds left. Most men would have been in a hospital. Jordan is not most men.

Top Ten Bears Rookies as Determined By NCAA Football 08

10. In the game: Michigan State TE #80
Real name: Kellen Davis
Pick: Round 5, Pick 158
Rating: 87

9. In the game: Tulane RB #25
Real name:Matt Forte
Pick: Round 2, Pick 44
Rating: 87

8. In the game: Oregon State ROLB #42
Real name: Joey LaRocque
Pick: Round 7, Pick 243
Rating: 89

7. In the game: LSU SS #16
Real name: Craig Steltz
Pick: Round 4, Pick 120
Rating: 91

6. In the game: Ohio State RT #74
Real name: Kirk Barton
Pick: Round 7, Pick 247
Rating: 92

5. In the game: Arkansas WR #85
Real name: Marcus Monk
Pick: Round 7, Pick 248
Rating: 92

4. In the game: Vanderbilt LT #74
Real name: Chris Williams
Pick: Round 1, Pick 14
Rating: 93

3. In the game: Nebraska CB #14
Real name: Zach Bowman
Pick: Round 5, Pick 142
Rating: 93

2. In the game: Arkansas DT # 55
Real name: Marcus Harrison
Pick: Round 3, Pick 90
Rating: 94


1. In the game: Vanderbilt WR #10
Real name: Earl Bennett
Pick: Round 3, Pick 70
Rating: 95

Top Ten Players to Watch for the 2009 NFL Draft

10. SS Myron Rolle
Florida State, Junior

A highly regarded prospect coming out of high school, Rolle has NFL size and speed already. Should he bolt after his junior year, he’ll be the top safety prospect in the draft.

9. OT Phil Loadholt
Oklahoma, Senior

Phil Loadholt makes Jeff Otah look like Mike Fontenot. At 6-8, 355, Loadholt is an absolute mountain of a man. Is he quick enough to play left tackle? We’ll see, but they’ll be a top slot reserved for him regardless in the 09 draft.

8. CB Malcolm Jenkins
Ohio State, Senior

Even with Vernon Gholston giving up his senior season to jump early for the NFL’s dollars, Ohio State’s defense is still going to be scary. Jenkins will be a big part of that and should be the top corner in the country.

7. OT Michael Oher
Ole Miss, Senior

The focal point of Michael Lewis’ ‘The Blind Side’, Oher’s story will only get more publicity once the draft approaches. He has prototypical size and athleticism to play left tackle, and should be a top ten selection.

6. RB CJ Spiller
Clemson, Junior

The favorite son of TTCS’s PJ Barnes, Spiller no longer has to split carries next season, now that former running mate James White is off campus. Spiller may be the fastest tailback in the country.

5. WR Michael Crabtree
Texas Tech, RS Sophomore

As a redshirt freshman in Texas Tech’s high octane offense, Crabtree set college football on fire last season. Rivals named him a first team All-American, and at 6-3, he has the type of size NFL scouts covet.

4. LB James Laurinaitis
Ohio State, Senior

Had Laurinaitis come out this season after a stellar junior campaign, it’s possible that the Patriots could have made him, and not Tennessee’s Jerod Mayo, the first linebacker selected in the 08 drat. With most of his teammates returning, Laurinaitis could be poised for a huge senior season.

3. RB Beanie Wells
Ohio State, Junior

What Maurice Clarett should have been. Wells style may remind some of (gulp) Cedric Benson, but it’s hard to argue with the numbers the Buckeyes’ runner has put up in his first two seasons in Columbus.

2. QB Matthew Stafford
Georgia, Junior

We expected Stafford to break out as a sophomore, but Georgia’s breakout season had more to do with it’s superb ground game. Look for Stafford to can control of the offense this season, and possibly make the Bulldogs the countries best team.

1. QB Tim Tebow
Florida, Junior

A lot of people don’t think Tebow can make the transition to an NFL quarterback, but we certainly don’t see why not. He has a cannon for an arm, is very mobile, and is more accurate than people give him credit for.

Top Ten Kid Athletes in Movies

Now that I am getting old, I have decided to relive the greatest moments of my childhood. My last post was an ode to the Top Ten Tag Teams (1985-90). This week I will give props to the greatest kid athletes in movies…the ones that inspired, the ones that took their teams from shit to legit, the ones that hit puberty before any other kids in town. This is my Top Ten Kid Athletes in Movies

*editors note: Only one character per movie, otherwise there would be like seven characters from "The Little Giants" and "The Mighty Ducks". Also, by kids I mean not in high school. No Jimmy Chitwood’s on this list.

10. Jarius “G-Baby” Evans – Hardball
“Kofi say, "You a cheatin' bitch.". No wait. Kofi say, "You a motherf - "”(www.boxofficeprophets.com/ hollis/hardball.asp)

G-Baby may not have been the best athlete, but he got shot and that gives him some major street cred. He was shot on the Chicago South Side. Thank God that doesn’t happen anymore. Right?

9. Mathew/Martha – Lady Bugs
“No, he's not a stranger. He's just strange.”
(www.sportsinmovies.com/ soccer/ladybugs.asp)

What is better than a really good girl soccer player? Nothing. Wrong! A really good boy soccer player, playing in the girl’s league. Mathew or Martha played in the girl’s league for coach Chester Lee (even the character that Dangerfield plays sound creepy). He methodically scored goal after goal dodging awkward yet hilarious situations on his way to getting a period for being a bitch.

8. Jaun Morales – “Big Green”
(www.ultimatedisney.com/ biggreen.html)

The only reason I like this movie is because my 80’s comedy icon is in it…Steve Guttenberg (he rocks hard). However, once the group of misfits gets Morales on their team, they can do no wrong.

7. Gian Piero/Massimo – “Kicking and Screaming”
“Prima la carne, prima la carne.”(http://www.themoviespoiler.com/Spoilers/kickingandscreaming.html)

Once coach Phil Weston got these two Italian soccer saints, his team could not be stopped. Gian Piero and Massimo weaved through the defense like TTCS writer Phil Barnes weaves his way through traffic on his way to McDonalds…unstoppable.

6. Billy Heywood – “Little Big League”
“If Joe can paint a house in three hours and Sam can paint the same house in five hours, how long will it take to paint it together?”

(www.tvguide.com/movies/ little-big-league/129913)

Technically Heywood never played baseball except on the Little League diamond, but the kid made GMing and coaching look so easy that he must make this list. For many Chicago franchises, making the playoffs is a challenge and Heywood took a cellar Twins team within one sick catch by THE Ken Griffey Jr. from going to the playoffs. Here’s to you Heywood and lets hope Pax takes a page from Heywood's grandfather when he makes his coaching decision.


5. Kelly Leak – “The Bad News Bears” (1976)
“There's nice ass at the field, that's why I always hang around it.”(http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/sfgate/category?blogid=22&cat=546&o=60)

This longhaired-motorcycling badass took some twisting of the arm to play ball, but when he did all he did was drop bomb after bomb…a complete stud.


4. Adam Banks – “The Mighty Ducks”
“Do me a favor. Kick some Hawk butt.”(http://yzak.nu/fan/banks/)

This “cake eater” might have been from some richy rich neighborhood but the kid could play. He was the turtleneck wearing tight-ass that Coach Gordon Bombay needed to make the “flying V” a success. Thank God they rezoned the district!

3. Henry Rowengartner – “Rookie of the Year”
“Pitcher's got a big butt! Pitcher's got a big butt!”
(http://hyspace.progressiveboink.com/rowengartner.jpg)

He might be the most annoying character on this list, but Rowengartner was the man and he pitched for the Cubs. He went from his class loser to Cubs Ace in just eight weeks (his arm had to heal properly). From striking out Bonds to the immaculate floater, Rowengartner had it all. Plus he went on later to become the guy from “American Pie.”

2. Spike – “Little Giants”
“Is Spike mistaken, but aren't you a girl?” (http://www.childrenofsalem.com/days/kids/briabrit/littlegiants1.jpg)

Can you say steroids? Spike dominated pee-wee football. Listed at 6-2, 200 (numbers may be off), Spike could tear through anything, except an Ice Box, even though he had already carried one on his back earlier in the movie. Basically Spike is everything I want in a son. If I had Spike’s size I would definitely go back to grade school and beat up the bully that picked on fellow TTCS writer Ricky O’Donnell. Maybe he wouldn’t be so mean.

1. Benny “The Jet” Rodriguez – “The Sandlot”
“Anyone who wants to be a can't-hack-it pantywaist who wears their mama's bra, raise your hand.”
(http://farm1.static.flickr.com/5/9750972_2e6fd4096c.jpg)

Benny destroyed all the kids that he played against in the Sandlot. Nobody could match his speed, power and arm strength. He stole bases without conscience and hit home runs like Ruth. Plus, Benny made the Majors and stole home…sick!

Honorable Mentions
Patrick Renna – The fat redheaded kid in “The Sandlot” and “Big Green”
Ice Box and Junior – “Little Giants”
Goldberg and Charlie Conway – “The Mighty Ducks”